“With too much quickness ever to be taught; With too much thinking to have common thought.” – Alexander Pope

At the Dyspeptics Club, not only is time of the essence, but it seems some players would rather see their partners go down quickly than make their contracts slowly.

As today’s North explained, because South was going to do the wrong thing anyway, he might as well do it as fast as possible and spare his partner some of the agony.

On today’s deal I doubt that any defender would have found the killing lead of a low club against four spades. Today’s West logically led the heart 10. South thought for 15 seconds (about 14 seconds longer than usual), heard his partner sigh lugubriously, and made up his mind. He won the opening lead, cashed two rounds of trump, played the top diamonds to throw a club, then ruffed a diamond and led a heart. Defending accurately, East won, took the top clubs, and got out with a heart. There was an inescapable club loser at the end.

North, who had perched behind his partner to witness the debacle, now suggested that South consider tiddlywinks as an alternative pastime. Can you see what declarer missed?

The winning line is to pitch a heart, not a club, from dummy on the second diamond. Then after East wins his heart and his two top clubs, he will be forced to give South a ruff and discard.

Bid with the aces

South holds:

Answer: Your partner’s double is unequivocally for penalty. It says that he would have doubled one spade for penalties had he been able to, but couldn’t because you play negative doubles. Since you have neither more nor less than you initially promised, pass and await developments.