The cops and concierges, the cabbies and firefighters and gas station attendants who labor by the thousands in the flourishing Anaheim, Calif., “resort district” are about to be invited to attend – how shall I say this? – charm school.

Sure, they could use some sprucing up. Who among us couldn’t?

Next to Kate Moss, every woman is fat. Next to George Clooney, every man is drab. Next to Stephen Hawking, everyone is dumb. And so, next to the cheery, prescribed punctilio of the employees – the cast members – at Disneyland, everyone is a dour boor. Good thing the rest of us get graded on the curve.

When I read the Los Angeles Times story about $90,000 being put up by local merchants, including Disneyland, toward scrubbing up the customer service of the public and private workers who handle tourists in the thronging streets of Anaheim, I wondered, what set that in motion? Did some waiter terrify a Japanese visitor by endorsing the seared ahi as “gnarly”?

No, says Charles Ahlers, who runs the Anaheim/Orange County Visitor and Convention Bureau. It’s more about savvy.

Everyone, cops to landscapers, should be on the same page with what they know to tell visitors, and how to tell it, Ahlers says. And here’s the part I love: They’re going to do it “with Mickey’s help.”

Not the trademarked rodent across the road. Mickey Schaefer heads an eponymous Tucson, Ariz., company that’s doing the training. Her training program isn’t Mickey Mouse white gloves and tea-time Emily Post: “We’re teaching a behavior change.” In client cities from Washington to Phoenix, she’s been astonished at how little people know of the basic rules and attitudes of customer service – starting with the Golden Rule.

Schaefer has a thing about not just the words people use but the attitude they convey. “My bad” is out. It’s “I’m sorry, my fault.” Likewise, “sweeeeet!” as a synonym for “great.” And never, ever answer “thank you” with “no problem” – because, as she says, “no” and “problem” are both negative words.

I could get behind this, up to a point. Start with the gas station clerk who couldn’t even look up from his video game on Monday and grunt an acknowledgment when I put 30 bucks on the counter and asked for regular on pump No. 7. But I’d hate to see civilian Anaheim turned into Disney Anaheim. It’s an unsettlingly small world after all, but I hope not that small. We all want good manners, but don’t visitors want a little local color, not “Great Moments With Mr. Waiter” robotics?

If I were visiting Orange County from, say, Japan, and the waiter called the seared ahi “gnarly,” or a motorcycle cop slipped and called me “dude” – well, I’d be tickled. I’d take home a more authentic California souvenir than a pair of board shorts from a surf styles chain store in Downtown Disney. Now that’s sweeeeet.