All play, no work
Lazy workers unite at Games
BEIJING – Who, exactly, has the easiest job at the Olympics?
And the winners are …
10 Archery coach – “OK, Hans, this time, try it a little to the left. Whoops. Too much to the left. A little to the right … ”
9 Modern pentathlon publicity director – “What did you say? You want to cover us? I have a better offer. You can compete!”
8 Bela Karolyi moustache trimmer – Seriously, that thing hasn’t seen scissors since the Berlin Wall went down … or was it up?
7 Sailing wind tester – There’s a guy who stands near the sailing venue with a stick to measure which direction the wind blows. It almost sounds like something you’d see on one of those “Real Men of Genius” beer commercials.
6 Right fielder for the USA softball team – I think an opponent last hit a ball out of the infield in 1987.
5 Roger Federer’s doubles partner – “Can you get that one, too, Rog? Whew. Thanks, bud.”
4 Badminton beat writer for the New York Times – His name is Greg Bishop. He usually covers the Jets. The Jets, you may have heard, just traded for a pretty good quarterback. Bishop, meanwhile, has the scoop on Indonesia’s chances in the team doubles.
3 Traveling secretary for the Netherland Antilles team.
2 Jason Kidd – What is he averaging now? Four minutes a game?
1 Lifeguard at the Olympic Aquatic Center – I mean, really? Need I say more? And there are TWO of them.