Annie’s Mailbox: Wife’s texting beyond flirty

Dear Annie: I’ve been married to “Beth” for 18 months. We have our ups and downs, but it’s a solid marriage.

Beth is close friends with “Chuck,” a man she dated back in high school. He’s a good guy whom I trust and respect, but sometimes I’m a bit uncomfortable with their friendship and how close they are.

To make matters worse, about a week ago I came across Beth’s cell phone and the text inbox was open. I noticed a few notes from Chuck, saying he would do anything for her. He addressed her as “Babe.” I wanted to be sure I wasn’t misreading the context of these messages, so I delved deeper. Unfortunately, her messages to him had the same tone. In one, she texted about being naked in the bathtub, and in another, she mentioned a sex dream she had about him.

When I questioned Beth, she shrugged it off and said nothing was going on between them. I do trust them both, but I feel these messages are inappropriate and neither one should be flirting this way. Am I way off base? – Hurt and Confused

Dear Hurt: Beth lost our sympathy when she sent text messages about having sex dreams and being naked in the tub. This type of flirting isn’t harmless because it deliberately gives the impression that she’s interested in more than friendship. She may not intend to cheat, but it is disrespectful to you and your marriage to make the ex-boyfriend (or anyone else) think she is looking around. Tell her to knock it off.

Dear Annie: We have a lovely 7-year-old grandson. My daughter-in-law had in vitro fertilization, as she couldn’t conceive and was approaching 40. The problem is, when he reaches the age of 13, she wants to explain the procedure to our grandson .

I am against this. It is bad enough to tell children they are adopted. After I was told I was adopted (and I loved my parents), down deep, it was never the same for me.

Am I wrong to discourage my daughter-in-law from telling the boy? He is a very sensitive child. – Mom-in-Law Meaning Well

Dear Mom-in-Law: Yes, you are wrong. We realize your adoption experience is coloring your feelings on the subject, but it’s up to the parents whether or not to give their child this information. We will say, however, that since others know the boy was conceived through IVF, it is only a matter of time before someone spills the beans, so it’s best if the child learns his origins from his parents as soon as he can understand. Also, at some point, your grandson is entitled to have his genetic information. If you want to help your son and daughter-in-law with this process, suggest they contact Resolve (resolve.org) at (888) 623-0744.