Insist porn-seeking husband attend counseling

Dear Annie: I’ve been married to “Kerry” for two years. I spend all my energy cleaning up after him. When I ask him to help out more, he’ll comply by doing the dishes once. His negative attitude drains me of any desire to be intimate, so he has turned to Internet porn.

I recently discovered Kerry joined an adult Web site that lets you meet women. When I confronted him, he claimed it was just to look at the pictures they posted. Then, in his very next sentence, he said he’d like to start a family. We have discussed children before, and he’s always been adamant that he wants to wait a few more years.

I think his sudden interest in kids was just to take the heat off. I am exhausted and depressed, and my self-esteem is rock bottom. Any advice? – Working Wife

Dear Working: We agree that Kerry’s blather about children is simply a way to distract you from his betrayal. If all he’s interested in are pictures, there’s no reason to access a site where he can meet women. He needs to regain your trust, and the best way is for both of you to go for counseling. Insist on it.

Dear Annie: I have been living with bad karma for the past 30 years. So much goes wrong for me, despite my determination to prevent it.

It would help if I could talk my problems over with a friend or family member, but no one wants to hear it. They all say I am too negative. I try to maintain a positive attitude, but it’s terribly hard when one catastrophe follows another. I listen to their problems. But mine? Forget it. What’s the secret to being positive all the time? – Smiling Through the Tears

Dear Smiling: Of course it helps to unburden yourself, but you have apparently overwhelmed your friends and family members. No one wants to listen to a litany of sad stories. Consider talking to a professional who not only will listen, but will be able to advise you on ways to find the positives inside those negatives.