Annie’s Mailbox: Snubbing him would be justified

Dear Annie: I have been married to the perfect woman for 13 years. If I had to order a wife, it would be her. We have wonderful, healthy kids, and I thought I had a great marriage.

Last year, we became friends with “Stan and Betty” through our kids’ activities. The four of us hit it off as if we’d known each other forever. We went out to dinner together, had them to our home, spent time with each other’s families.

About two months ago, I started having a funny feeling about my wife and Stan. I made a few mental notes about my wife being secretive on the phone, and when I received our cell phone bill, I discovered she and Stan were calling each other at all hours of the day and night. She got out of bed to call him. She called during family vacations. And then she’d erase the number so I wouldn’t see it.

When I confronted her, she claimed they were not having an affair. I called Betty and let her in on it. My wife promised she would have no more phone contact with Stan, but the very next day, she called him from her office landline. I found out because the call registered on Stan’s cell phone and Betty told me.

Needless to say, my perfect marriage is wrecked. I no longer believe my wife when she says they aren’t having sex. We are in counseling, trying to work through this nightmare, but I can’t eat or sleep. In addition, we still have to see Stan and Betty at our children’s events. The sight of him makes my blood boil. Any suggestions? – Bad Judge of Friends

Dear Judge: Please continue with your counseling to find out if you can forgive your wife for this betrayal – which it was, whether it involved sex or not. Etiquette advises snubbing a person who has behaved despicably toward you. When you see Stan in public, ignore him as if he were completely invisible. We hope your anger will diminish in time.