Golf Lessons from Grandpa

My golf career started when I was just a kid. My grandparents loved the game, and my first forays came while visiting them on a nine-hole desert course in the tiny farming town of Wilbur, Washington. Playing golf with Grandpa wasn’t easy. To him, golf was a game of respect, not an occasion for horseplay, and getting out of line would likely get my brother and me sent home. I still can’t step across a putting line, replace a divot, or rake a bunker without thinking of my grandfather. As I grew older (and inevitably, so did he), one of the proudest – and saddest – days of my golf career was the first time I beat the old man. Of all the memories I treasure from my time on the golf course with Gramps, it’s the lessons of etiquette and respect for others that still matter most. I hope those are the values I, too, am remembered for having passed on to my daughters and someday, perhaps, my grandchildren. Respect Others and the Course The behaviors you display on the golf course, and more precisely those that have nothing to do with your playing ability, will pointedly reveal your appreciation of the customs and subtleties of the game. Indeed, as Grandpa always taught me, most of these can be summed up in a single word – respect. Respect means demonstrating unwavering adherence to the principles of courtesy and etiquette, and respect means playing at a proper pace. Etiquette and pace of play share an intimate relationship. Etiquette leads, pace follows. They’re forever intertwined, each dependent on the other. Golf has a rhythm. It’s a dance. A grand production. It’s the interaction of player to player, group to group, and all to the course. To learn this rhythm, you must be aware of your surroundings at all times- like a defensive driver. Study and practice these principles of etiquette until they become second nature and you’re acting on instinct. First, Do No Harm Avoid any action that might have a negative impact on another player or on the golf course. Sounds simple enough, right? There might be more to it than you think. Keep Up with the Group in Front of You Slow play is bad form for which there is no excuse. Be Still and Quiet When Others are About to Swing It’s ok to stand or park a cart where you’re noticed, just stay still when it’s “go time” for another golfer. Don’t shift your weight, release or set the hill brake, turn your head, dig in your pocket, or move your shadow. Also don’t talk, walk, make chimpanzee noises, clang clubs together, and please turn your cell phone on silent. Anything that makes noise can be a distraction. Don’t Act Like a Meathead After a Bad Shot or a Bad Round Your behavior can have a negative impact on the other players in your group and even players in other groups. That isn’t fair to any of them, particularly if you damage the golf course as a result of your disgust. A golf ball is like a perfect child – it always does exactly what it’s told. In Communications 101, we’re taught that most problems in the understanding of a message are the fault of the sender, not the receiver. So rather than react brutishly after a bad shot or round, as yourself how well you communicated your intent. It’s a universal truth of the game that you’ll never play your best. Just accept it. No matter what their ability or level of experience, nobody has ever finished a round of golf feeling like they executed every swing perfectly. When you play poorly, leave it at the course. Don’t Throw or Break a Club – Ever! There are countless stories of serious injuries from thrown golf clubs, including lost limbs, eyes, organs, and even lives. I wish I could tell you that I’ve never done it, but that’s not true. What I can tell you is that I’m ashamed of the times I have, and several years ago, I let one go for the last time. I was playing with a country club member whom I respect- a several-time club champion and true gentleman. I stubbed a chip shot, after which I discreetly helicoptered my wedge toward the next tee box – so at least I wouldn’t have to backtrack to retrieve it. After seeing the toss, he immediately gathered his gear, started walking for the clubhouse, and informed me that we’d never play together again. And and we haven’t. It was a very embarrassing lesson to learn, especially as the professional.