Adult children dine on Dad’s dime

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I married a man who is 20 years older than myself, and he has two children who are around my age. We are all on very good terms except for one thing.

Whenever we go out for dinner, they always expect us to pay the whole bill. They never offer to even pay the tip or put any money toward the bill. They both have decent jobs, as do I, so it would be nice if once in a while they pick up the bill and pay it.

How can I express my feelings without offending them or sounding like the evil stepmother?

GENTLE READER: Your feelings? What about your husband’s?

Miss Manners agrees that it is charming of adult children to reciprocate their parents’ hospitality. But having grown up with their parents paying the bills, some do not think of changing. And while parents should appreciate the gesture, some of them prefer to keep that part of the parental role.

If your husband agrees with you, he is the one to say, “We’d love it if you would take us to your favorite restaurants now and then.” If not, leave it alone. It has apparently been going on since the time you were born.