Annie’s Mailbox: Abused brother must seek help

Dear Annie: My brother is smart, nice and a good person. The problem is, he married the worst possible human being. The verbal abuse started eight years ago, and she began hitting him within the last three.

My sister-in-law has hit my brother with a hammer, a weight bar and any object in arm’s reach. She has also cut him with a knife. She calls him the worst, most demeaning names she can think of. She also isolates him from our family.

Two weeks ago, my brother left her for a few days and told me about the abuse. But after she phoned and texted repeatedly, he caved and went back to her. Since then, my sister-in-law has been kissing up to my mother and bashing me with nasty gossip. We are both sick of her and want her out of the family. She is poison. But we worry that if we say anything, my brother will stop talking to us. What can we do? – Worried Sister

Dear Worried: Men can be abused, too. Your sister-in-law is an abuser, and your brother may need help to get out of this destructive relationship. Most state domestic violence agencies now handle abused men, as well as women. Also, give your brother the number of the Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women, 1-888-7-HELPLINE (1-888-743-5754), and urge him to call before his wife does permanent damage.

Dear Annie: I had to respond to the letter from “Ring-a-Ding,” who complained about her small wedding ring diamond.

I, too, have a small diamond on my wedding ring, but my husband was working three jobs at the time so he could pay his bills. He chose the ring all by himself and surprised me. Every day, I look at it and feel lucky.

If she needs more bling, she can add to her wedding set. We added an anniversary band and, after our son was born, a second band with his birthstone and diamonds. These additions symbolize how our love has grown. – Fargo, N.D.