Parents’ blog: Sometimes, quitting is winning

It’s a message we often hear from others and also impart to our kids: If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again.

Giving up is just something we’re not supposed to do.

Sometimes, however, I wonder if some things are just not meant to be, no matter how hard we try. Is it possible that because of our determination to stick to something – a sport, a hobby, a job, perhaps a relationship – we end up missing out on other opportunities?

Los Angeles Times staff writer Lisa Boone wrote about this dilemma in a column, “When is it OK to let kids be quitters?” She cited a 2005 statistic from the Citizenship Through Sports Alliance, which found in 2005 that 70 percent of youth stop playing sports by the time they’re 14.

Moms, dads and other guardians need to ask themselves why they signed up their children for a particular activity in the first place. If that goal isn’t met, then perhaps it’s not worth sticking it out.

In some cases, it’s the parents who put too much pressure on the child, Betsy Braun, author of the new book “You’re Not the Boss of Me: Brat Proofing Your 4 to 12 Year Old Child,” told the Times. Kids are asked to commit to a number of activities and sports at such a young age, she noted. Parents want to give them as many options as possible, but sometimes, this leads to too much pressure.

Have you ever let your child quit a sport or activity? How do you teach your child the values if consistency and commitment while at the same time knowing when it’s healthier to stop and try something else?

– Posted by Virginia de Leon

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