School bullying must stop.

Recently, my 9-year-old daughter in fourth grade was accused of being gay by two male classmates because she has two moms.

Fortunately, the fourth-graders involved were called into the principal’s office, and a community forum for all fourth-graders addressed the larger issues of homophobia and bullying.

I am quite sure that the kids who accused my daughter of being gay do not know what that means, but it is clear that it was used in a derisive manner.

The phrase “that’s so gay” or “you’re gay” is a pervasive slur – and not just with teens. But why even in fourth grade is gay tantamount to bad? There are other kids in my daughter’s class who have same-gendered parents, and it is not as if a two-parent heterosexual couple is the norm for this classroom or society at large.

Bullying is not uncommon. And teasing on a lesser level is even more pervasive.

Regardless of whether it leads to actions beyond words, bullying is dangerous in and of itself. The media have reported on the fatal results of bullying, but it has negative consequences every day, and it needs to be addressed before more damage is done.

Thankfully, the Department of Education notified school districts on Oct. 26 that they must take bullying seriously or they risk violating civil rights laws. When “harassment is encouraged, tolerated, not adequately addressed, or ignored by school employees,” the school is breaking the law, the department said. This goes for schools, as well as colleges and universities.

Helpful strategies for schools to deal with bullying can be found in a new book, “The Right to Be Out,” by Stuart Biegel. It outlines some best practices, including sponsoring gay-straight alliances and providing “safe zones” where gay students can go to talk about issues that concern them at school. And people can watch a great documentary, “Let’s Get Real,” by Debra Chasnoff, which shows the pain that bullying causes.

As for my daughter, she’s fine. I told her that being gay is like having brown eyes or freckles. She accepted that, and it made her feel better.

I just wish the rest of society would accept it.