Being rude back not the answer

Dear Annie: I married a widower with two adopted children who don’t seem to care about their father except for the money.

My husband has been in and out of the hospital 13 times in the past 10 years, and neither child ever called to find out how he was. The son doesn’t bother to help his father unless we call and ask. The daughter lives out of state and often invites herself to stay here for a visit. But when we went there for the grandchildren’s graduation party, we had to stay in a hotel. We were not invited to the party after, and they didn’t even save us a seat at the commencement.

When I hinted that we’d like to spend a few days with them, I was told the two empty bedrooms were for the kids when they visited. When her son got married, her father was not put in one single wedding photo. We offered to stay and help clean up and were told, “That’s not necessary. Have a safe trip home.” We saw them for all of three hours, and it really hurt.

How do I let her know my extra bedrooms are no longer available? I don’t like to lie, but I am sick of this one-sided business. – Stepmother Who Feels Like the Wicked Witch

Dear Stepmother: Please don’t do anything unless your husband agrees. These are, after all, his children, and you do not want to get in the middle of his relationship with them. We know it is frustrating to deal with such inconsiderate people, but we don’t believe escalating the hostilities will help.