Annie’s Mailbox: Question of wife’s infidelity remains

Dear Annie: Two years ago, my wife left me. I went to counseling immediately, and we worked hard to get back together for the sake of our children. We eventually reconciled. While I try not to dwell on the past, something still troubles me, and I’m not sure what to do about it.

A few days after “Jane” left me, I had a tearful phone conversation with my sister-in-law. She didn’t go into specifics, but made it quite clear that Jane had not been faithful to me. At the time, I was devastated. I called my wife and asked if there was someone else. She insisted there wasn’t. But my sister-in-law stands by her story.

I never discussed this possible affair with my pastor or my counselor, preferring instead to focus on what I needed to do to make myself a better husband and father. While I am confident that our love is now strong, I still have lingering doubts about Jane’s fidelity. My sister-in-law isn’t the type to make this up.

After two years, should I bring up the subject or simply keep it to myself and cope as best I can? – Not Sure

Dear Not Sure: Keeping it to yourself won’t diminish your suspicions, because this is still preying on your mind after two years. It’s possible that your sister-in-law misinterpreted something she heard or saw. But sometimes opening a can of worms is not worth the end result. Can you forgive an affair? If Jane insists she was faithful, will you believe her with your whole heart? Please discuss these questions with your pastor or counselor until you are at peace with your decision, whatever it is.