Loneliness root of TV obsession

While I’m away, readers give the advice.

On elderly relatives with burdensome TV habits: My mother was hard of hearing and refused to use any accommodations beyond turning the volume of the TV up to almost unbearable levels. We just learned to live with it. Only much later, after she had passed away, did I have the perspective to realize how lonely she must have been when we were gone for the day, and how TV personalities had basically become “friends” to her.

I’d like to encourage families to have an open discussion about what may be underneath Grandma’s TV issue. Is she lonely? Could she learn to use the computer and participate in chat rooms or research the family tree or look up old high school friends or watch videos (with earphones)? Would she like to join a church or book group or go to the senior center during the day? Is it possible for her to volunteer, even to sit and answer phones? Could she give the kids their spelling quizzes, read to them, teach them to crochet or latch-hook, do jigsaw puzzles or play hearts with them? Could she write letters or crochet/knit blankets for troops? Are there other family members nearby who could take her out to get her hair done or just for a ride? We humans are all social creatures. – S.

On use of the B-word in anger: I have been married 45 years. I cannot imagine calling her “b ––” or any similar insulting names for women. It is just impossible for me to think of her in such demeaning terms.

We have had our arguments (at times loud), but never have we ever used such personally insulting language. Something’s wrong there … respect is missing. – B.