Deflect name queries using cliché

Dear Carolyn: I am Asian-American with an unusual first name and am often asked where I am from. If I say where I live, folks become adamant about where I really am from. Sometimes, people proudly try to guess my ethnic background, but I am from an ethnic group that is not well-known, and I don’t care to answer such a personal question every time I meet someone who is curious about me. I now answer: “I don’t particularly care to satisfy your curiosity right now,” with a smile, and move on to another topic. But, I was told my response may seem rude and/or too sensitive to what may be considered an innocent question.

I understand the curiosity; I am happy to share my cultural/ethnic background with friends. However, I am not interested in being the exotic person in the conversation. Any suggestion for how I could reply to this dreaded question? – Not Inclined Yes, but I’m afraid to type it lest I lose some fingers.

To pre-empt further inquiry and not “seem rude and/or too sensitive,” I suggest two steps.

The second is to find a phrase that deflects people gently. “It’s a long story (smile)” works on many levels: It’s true, apparently; it’s a cliche, thus a proven, innocuous way of saying “Get out of my face” to people with any social acuity; and it sets up your next deflection of tone-deaf people who keep pressing (“I’d rather not tell the story, thanks”).

The first step? Put down your dukes. Your frustration is well-founded; just about anyone visibly interesting, for whatever reason, reaches the point of wanting to throw haymakers at people who ask the same damn question everyone else has asked every time you’ve appeared in public since you were old enough to speak.

But: The question is new to each person who asks it.