Annie’s Mailbox: Decline to host her shower for 65

Dear Annie: I’ve been asked to be the maid-of-honor for a friend. I was planning to throw a bridal shower with 10 to 15 guests at my apartment. I had a nice luncheon-type party in mind.

The other day, my friend informed me that she wants to invite 65 guests and, since my apartment is too small for that crowd, said I should host it at a local restaurant. I checked with the venue, and it is way too pricey for my budget. Even if I involve the other two bridesmaids, this will be a much bigger expense than I can afford.

Are there rules when it comes to bridal shower guest lists? I don’t want to hurt her feelings or lose her friendship, but combined with the expense of the dress, shoes, hair and bachelorette party, I may need to take out a loan. How can I handle this? After all, it’s her wedding. – Soon To Be Poor Maid of Honor

Dear Maid: The bride is allowed to give you the guest list, but she must keep to the hostess’ limit. When you told her you would give a shower for 15 people, she should have kept the guest list at 15. It is inconsiderate of a bride to force anyone to shell out more than they can afford for a shower. We recommend you tell her “so sorry,” this isn’t in your budget, and you will have to decline as hostess, but that you would be happy to give a smaller event in your apartment for 15 guests. We don’t care if it’s her wedding. It doesn’t entitle her to become Bridezilla.