Annie’s Mailbox: Help sis choose facility for difficult mom

Dear Annie: My 67-year-old mother is an alcoholic. Two years ago, she was diagnosed with dementia. Mom is now on medication for depression and high blood pressure and is living with my sister “Shannon.”

I have seven siblings. When Shannon needs a break, my brothers and I take turns with Mom on the weekends. Mom wanders off during the day while Shannon is at work and catches a ride with strangers to get alcohol. My sister is tired and stressed and says she is fed up because we are not helping her. It’s true that we all could do more, but no one really wants to. Mom is a handful.

Mom is capable of taking care of herself only when she is not drinking. Otherwise, she has outbursts and tantrums. Shannon has decided to place Mom in a facility. Mom is on a low fixed income. Where could she go? – Worried Sis

Dear Worried: First, take your mother to her physician and have her evaluated to see whether she can manage at an independent senior residence or requires an assisted-living facility. Then call the Eldercare Locator ( eldercare.gov) at 1 (800) 677-1116 for information about available places, and take the time to visit those that seem appropriate. Please do not make Shannon do this on her own. Surely, eight children can do this for one mother, no matter how difficult she is.