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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

No Facebook means mom is missing out

Judith Martin Universal Uclick

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am out of the loop. I am not on Facebook and have no desire to be.

However, I have found I am missing out on a few things – in particular, invitations to parties and thank-you notes from parties I have attended.

On too many occasions, I have been questioned by friends why I missed get-togethers or parties. “I posted it on Facebook! Didn’t you see it?”

“No,” I answer and remind them that I’m not on Facebook.

The people are horrified. How can you miss out on so much??

The one that really bothers me is the blanket thank-you on Facebook. My daughter is 12 and attends a number of birthday parties. The moms feel it is perfectly acceptable to say thank you for the gifts on Facebook and be done with it. (I insist my children write their own thank-you notes to the friends, but obviously that is very outdated!)

Am I being unreasonable and overly sensitive? I guess I want to know a nice way to ask friends to include me but NOT through Facebook, and maybe send out a gentle reminder that not everyone sits in front of their computer and documents their life!

GENTLE READER: Facebook enthusiasts are not going to be convinced that there are other means of communication – or understand why you wouldn’t want to be a part of this oh-so-convenient one. Especially since it has the added benefit of enabling one to document and broadcast one’s every sneeze.

Although the phenomenon is not likely to end soon, perhaps a new and revolutionary trend will be ignited by polite people like us who still insist upon written invitations and thank-you letters. Unfortunately, no matter by what means and however justified, you still cannot invite yourself to parties. Continue to remind a few good friends that you are not on Facebook and gently suggest that they could let you know by more personal means when they would like you to be their guest.