Miss Manners: Closing blinds will block view of neighbors

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I can see in my neighbors’ bathroom window. Should you tell them?

GENTLE READER: No, Miss Manners demurs. But you might, depending upon the circumstances.

Were you standing in the bushes with your hands on the windowsill? Does your bedroom look into the bathroom in question? Or did you make eye contact as you walked down the street?

In the last case, Miss Manners recommends a cheerful wave. Failing that, you should either close your own blinds, or work into a future conversation that you hope your neighbors do not find the closeness of the houses – and the resulting lack of privacy – disconcerting.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the best way to get one’s needs attended to in a restaurant? I have known people to rattle silverware in a glass if being ignored by wait staff, but that seems demanding and disruptive to other customers.

The person who delivered our dessert, besides not bringing silverware, evidently didn’t understand my husband’s friendly, “Now we just need something to eat it with.” Our waitperson was out of sight, and all other employees ignored waves and attempts to get their attention.

I finally got up and approached the hostess, who was in conversation with another employee, and whom I may have offended by gently touching her shoulder as I said “Excuse me” and asked if we could please have some spoons for our dessert. I certainly got unpleasant body language from the employee as she spoke to the hostess.

The hostess pleasantly brought us some spoons. It had been an unappetizing and annoying wait while we hoped silverware would appear, and I felt I was intruding when I finally made my request.

GENTLE READER: It is indeed rude to bang on the tableware in hopes of attracting attention. Miss Manners supports your direct appeal to the hostess, although she does not share your judgment that sarcasm directed at servers is properly characterized as friendly behavior.