Annie’s Mailbox: Brother misses his pal overseas

Dear Annie: I am a 12-year-old boy with a problem. My dad died when I was a baby, so it’s just my mom, my 22-year-old brother “Jason” and me. Mom works two jobs. Basically, Jason has taken care of me.

Jason is my hero. He helps me with my homework, takes me places and protects me. He planned his college classes around my schedule, so he could drop me off and pick me up every day. He gave up nights with friends to stay home with me when Mom had to work.

Jason graduated from college in June and was accepted to an overseas program. I told him I would be OK. He left a month ago and I thought I would be fine, but I am not. I miss him so much there are days I feel sick.

I said something about it to my friend at school, and he just laughed. Then he told everybody and they started teasing me, so I said I was joking and I’m glad my brother is gone, which made me feel guilty.

Now I am afraid to say anything about how I feel. If I tell my mom, she will worry. Jason and I email every day and Skype a few times a week, but it’s not the same as having him here. Is there something wrong with me? What can I do to make it stop hurting so much? – Love My Brother

Dear Brother: There is nothing wrong with you. Jason has been a father substitute and it is perfectly natural for you to miss him terribly. But it’s obvious you want what’s best for Jason, and that involves a bit of sacrifice .

Some of your heartache will lessen with time, provided you focus less on Jason’s absence. Spend time with your friends, get involved in activities and consider tutoring someone. Please don’t be afraid to talk about how much you miss your brother – not to your friends, who are too immature to understand, but to your mom, a grandparent, aunt, uncle, counselor, teacher or other understanding adult.