Dear Annie: Boss raises anxiety

Dear Annie: I enjoy my job, but my boss is a bit hit-or-miss. Sometimes he’s very friendly with me, whereas other times, he’s blunt and unforgiving. I’ve had lifelong issues with anxiety. It’s diagnosed and medicated, but my boss’s unpredictability sends my anxiety through the roof. He’s not very approachable, so I don’t feel comfortable talking to him directly any more than I already have. (I once let him know that his bluntness was stressing me out, but he just brushed me off.) I’ve also let his boss know that he causes me a lot of anxiety. After I told his boss that, things got better for a while. But lately, my boss is as passive-aggressive as ever. I truly don’t know how to navigate his moods. I hate having to play this guessing game. I love everything about my job except working for him. He’s the head of my department. I don’t foresee him leaving that position any time soon. What do I do? – Managing a Moody Manager

Dear Managing a Moody Manager: It’s a well-kept secret, but bosses are, in fact, human. Your manager could be stressed over things in his home life, spread thinner at work than you realize or even battling his own mental health issues. Whatever the cause of his moodiness, it’s not you. So do your best not to take it personally. Develop a healthy sense of detachment – an umbrella to keep you dry no matter your boss’s emotional weather. I also recommend seeing a therapist regularly, if you’re not already, and talking through this with him or her. He or she could help you erect healthy boundaries and manage your anxiety.

Lastly, if your boss’s moodiness escalates and he lashes out at you or behaves in any way that would constitute harassment, document the incidents and go to human resources.