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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Dad Daze: Aspiring to excellence, not arrogance

The Babbel Family's 2020 Christmas card.  (Ryan & Rach Photography)

Life is often ironic. After ignoring my parents’ sage advice for most of my life, I’ve absorbed wisdom from unrelated elders after my parents departed.

During a flight from Salt Lake City to Philadelphia seven years ago, I enjoyed the company of Dave Babbel, an emeritus professor of insurance and finance at the prestigious Wharton School of Business.

Dave and I chatted during the entirety of the lengthy flight, exchanged information and became friends. I was struck by how he possesses the ability to crunch numbers and write books, which range from finance to religion. I was taken with his capacity to give and the order of his stately home along suburban Philadelphia’s storied Main Line.

But what impacted me the most is Dave and his lovely wife Mary Jane’s children, who are uncommonly accomplished and well-mannered.

Tara is finishing her master’s in economics at Southern New Hampshire University and is an accomplished pianist and swimmer.

Elise is a Stanford alum who earned her master’s in nonfiction at Johns Hopkins. Elise, who has authored or edited five books, knows her way around the organ.

Karisa graduated from BYU and earned her master’s in speech pathology at Marquette. Karisa is a former homecoming queen, softball star and a former newspaper advice columnist. Last summer, Karisa won on “Wheel of Fortune.”

Tyson was diagnosed with learning disabilities at a young age but nevertheless earned his bachelor’s in history at Southern Virginia University, with minors in Spanish and Portuguese.

The common denominators are that each Babbel daughter has four children and served 18 months as a missionary. Tyson was a missionary for two years. Each with the exception of Karisa, who was based in Arizona as a missionary, served in Brazil.

How does a couple raise such terrific children? “We received good little spirits from heaven,” Dave said. “We received a nice draw.”

But it has to be more than good fortune. Finally, Dave revealed the secret of his family’s parenting success.

“We aspired to excellence but never arrogance,” he said. “We didn’t keep up with the Joneses, and we didn’t care about the accolades.”

The Babbel work ethic was learned in Twin Falls, Idaho. Each of Dave’s siblings stayed out West while he moved within 60 miles of the Atlantic Ocean.

Structure, discipline and religion were adhered to throughout the Babbel children’s lives. “We grew up a very faithful family,” Tara said. “I don’t ever remember missing church even while on vacation.”

Academic excellence was a given. The mastery of at least two instruments was a demand, which was met, and then there was the requirement in order to take the driver’s license test: 160 car washes for their Mormon Church.

“A work ethic was instilled in us early on, which we’ve now passed down to our kids,” Tara said. “Seeking knowledge and understanding was a natural thing for us.”

Dave deserves some sort of parenting statue for setting not only a high standard but also for cultivating the unity and harmony among his family members. Every year, I look forward to the Babbel Christmas card taken in some exotic locale.

“I’ve been very fortunate,” Dave said.

And then there’s my longtime friend Randy Alexander, a former features reporter who reinvented himself as a music publicist. When my son Eddie slipped into a downward spiral courtesy of a co-dependent relationship with his ex-girlfriend, most pals shrugged their shoulders when they heard of our woe.

Randy’s daughter, Zoe, unfortunately lived through a similar experience with a controlling boyfriend. Randy dispensed invaluable advice. I spent countless hours on the phone talking baseball, music and family with him, a true gentleman.

After agreeing to handle features for The Spokesman-Review, I had a number of friends ask what was up last March, including Randy. However, I didn’t want to just send a text or email.

I stumbled upon something called Zoom – I wish I had bought Zoom stock back then, a week before the pandemic – and was going to engage in a chat with everyone. However, Randy broke the news via a group email.

My favorite message from Randy was after I wrote an appreciation of under-heralded character actor Taylor Negron. I was compelled to craft a piece about my friendship with Negron, which changed my life in so many ways. “That was just beautiful, Ed,” Randy wrote after my obituary hit print.

Just days after being placed in hospice care late last month, Randy passed away from pancreatic cancer. He was a loyal friend, loving husband, doting father and huge baseball fan. My heart is still heavy with shock and grief.

Dave was diagnosed with leukemia and has been in hospice care since October. Dave has set quite a standard as a husband, father and friend.

I’ve met few people like Dave and Randy, but I’ve gleaned as much as I could from them – and my world has been enhanced by the knowledge they have imparted.

I’m also inspired by their courage and conviction. May Randy rest in peace, and long live Dave. Both aspired to excellence but never arrogance. I can’t think of a better message to share with my four children.