Dear Annie 1/25

Dear Annie: I’ve noticed a strange habit that some people seem to have. Recently, several friends have talked to me on the phone while using the bathroom. I can hear everything that is going on, including the toilet flushing. It makes me very uncomfortable. Is it proper etiquette to be using the bathroom while talking on the phone? – Heard Too Much

Dear Heard: Is that a rhetorical question? No, it is not polite to bring someone into the bathroom with you telephonically. The next time someone does this, don’t be afraid to say: “I’ll try you back later. You sound busy.”

Dear Annie: I was born with a cleft palate and nose, and I have a psychological complex from it that makes me self-conscious around others. But I would really like to meet someone and have a romantic relationship. Can you give me advice on how to go forward and just be myself? – M.P.

Dear M.P.: I hope this goes without saying, but having a cleft palate or nose doesn’t make you unattractive. Anyone who says otherwise doesn’t deserve the pleasure of your company.

Now, you cite your self-consciousness as a barrier to meeting people. I encourage you to consider trying therapy to nurture healthier self-esteem, first and foremost. The moment we fully love ourselves is the moment we’re ready to accept love from someone else.

You might also benefit from talking with other people who understand your experience. The Cleft Lip and Palate Association facilitates such support communities. Though they’re based in the United Kingdom, you can join their online support communities at clapa.com/support/online-support.

Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.