Dear Annie 7/1
Dear Annie: I have been seeing a woman for eight years now. She is married, and I am not. We started out as high school sweethearts, and then we grew up and had our own lives for about 30 years.
Then we found each other again through social media, and I fell in love all over again. She keeps telling me that she is not happy with her husband anymore and that she wants to be with me. But, lately, she has made me feel like she doesn’t care about me or us anymore. I am just at a loss.
I wish I could just walk away, but I love her too much. The sad thing is that I have tried to tell her how I feel, and she says nothing. If she’s not in love with me anymore, I wish she would just walk away. What should I do? – Mind on the Mrs.
Dear MOTM: You’re in love with a collection of ideas, not a person: the nostalgia for how you remember your high school relationship and the anticipation for how you imagine your future relationship. But what you have presently is not a relationship at all.
If she hasn’t left her husband after eight years, she’s not leaving him. Quit waiting for her to act, and take some action yourself. End the relationship, and open your heart up for love and fulfillment in the here and now.
Dear Annie: I read and enjoy your column every day, and I respect your advice. Whenever I read about someone who has moved to a new town or is lonely, you give them good advice to get out, join a club, activity, etc.
My husband and I have moved 20 times, and the first thing we do when we move in is find a good church. Not all congregations are as accepting as we are taught to be, but there is always a right one; it just takes visiting a few.
In our congregation, we go out of our way to welcome newcomers and even have a special welcoming table with a small gift. I hope that you will add this to your list of suggestions. – Sandi M.
Dear Sandi: Indeed, for those who worship, church can be a wonderful way to find new friends and community. I’m glad to print your tip here.
Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.