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Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883
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Dear Annie 11/27

By Annie Lane Creators Syndicate

Dear Annie: My brother has been dating a woman for several years, and they recently became engaged. I do like her, but here is my issue: She is another nationality, and her family (in another country) does not like her dating a white guy. They refer to him as “white trash,” though he is well-educated and makes good money.

She has a very active Facebook page and posts pictures of her dogs, her friends, pictures of herself – not him – from vacations they take together. But not once, ever, has she mentioned my brother or posted a picture of them together. It’s as though he does not exist. When I asked her why she excludes him from postings, she says she doesn’t want to upset her family.

I do not want to attend this wedding but don’t want to offend my brother. Am I wrong to be this upset that his fiancee seems ashamed to publicly acknowledge him? – He Deserves Better

Dear He Deserves Better: It sounds to me like you’re a protective sister who only wants what’s best for your brother and, ultimately, your family. He is lucky to have someone looking out for him the way you do.

Take your concerns to the one being impacted: your brother. This situation upsets you, but it might not be one of his deal breakers. See what he says when you mention his lack of presence on her social media and ask how that makes him feel. Tell him what it looks like from an outside perspective.

Your brother is likely well aware of his fiancee’s family’s disapproval and might be OK with being excluded online if it makes real life offline less stressful for him and his fiancee. Hopefully, your future sister-in-law’s family will get the chance to spend time with your brother in person down the road and learn his heart and his character through and through. After all, no matter what we share or how often we post online, it’ll never tell the whole story of who we are.

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