Dear Annie 10/11

Dear Annie: My husband used to check out other women in an obvious way, but no more. We were in our early 40s, both on our second marriages, and we met for a date one night after work. We sat at the bar due to the crowd on a Friday, and two women across the bar were flirting with him.

Just smiles and eye games, but he was soaking up the attention, essentially ignoring me. I quietly got up, took my purse, walked out and drove home. It took him a minute to realize that I was gone, and those women were cracking up!

He came home just a few minutes later, embarrassed because I had ditched him. I let him know that I didn’t care if he appreciated pretty women, but gawking in my presence was flat-out disrespectful. It never happened again. – Expecting Respect

Dear Expecting Respect: Thank you for sharing your very creative move.

Dear Annie: My son and his family have shut me out of their lives. It has gotten to the point where, when I see them in public, they turn away. There was never any big blowout; they just stopped coming around or talking to me.

I have apologized to them for whatever I did. I tried calling them on the phone. I’ve written letters and sent them through the mail, and I messaged them on Facebook. I also emailed them, and no response. This has been going on for five years. I have cried endless nights about this. My question is, where do I go from here? It has been the grief that “keeps on giving.” – Dazed and Confused

Dear Dazed and Confused: Five years is too long for you to stay stuck in the dark about why your son and his family have shut you out. Their decision to ignore you is really painful, and it is understandable that you have cried about it.

Not knowing why is probably part of the reason you are stuck in your grief – because at some level, you understandably hold out hope that he and his family will come around and let you into their lives. Keep trying to reach out respectfully. If this continues, know that you have exhausted your options.

At some point, you have to just accept the situation as it is and try to move toward making yourself and your life happy. Pick up a new hobby, make new friends or adopt a pet at your local shelter.

Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.