Dad Daze: Austin is a home away from home

During a rare idle moment in Austin, I was flipping through some photos of my children over the years in the capital of Texas. It reminded me of writer-director Richard Linklater’s exceptional film “Boyhood,” which he shot over the course of a dozen years with the same actors.

It’s a luxury to have a home away from home, but that’s what we’ve been blessed with in Austin. Thanks to the pandemic, I haven’t been to Austin since 2019 until now.

South by Southwest, the annual explosion of music, film and all that is interactive, is back, and so am I. But there is more to the experience than writing about entertainment. My son Milo, 16, is making his first college visit to St. Edwards University, a small Roman Catholic school that sits on a hill overlooking the big, wonderful city of Austin.

The school checks off a number of Milo’s superficial needs. My younger son prefers a diverse urban setting, where he can catch some concerts. There’s more live entertainment in Austin than any other city in America.

And then there is weather.

“Why would anyone choose to go to a college where it’s cold?” Milo asked during a school visit with his sister Jillian in 2016 in chilly Pittsburgh. That was Milo when he was 11, and he hasn’t changed much.

Another reason Milo is considering higher education in Austin is due to Brenda. While on a trip to Cuba a quarter century ago with a number of journalists, musicians and filmmakers, I met Brenda, and we became fast friends.

The door to her beautiful and spacious home in the Barton Springs neighborhood is always open to us, and she’s more like family than most of our actual relatives, which is a left-handed compliment. Since I’m sibling-less so far, Brenda is akin to the sister I always hoped for while I was growing up.

Not only is she kind and supportive, Brenda also pokes and prods at me like a sibling.

My children, who have just one cousin, never have had those big family gatherings, the Sunday dinners with an array of relatives. However, I’ve always explained to them that quality is more important than quantity.

Brenda is kind and caring, just like her children. I’ll never forget the first time I met her daughter Alysia, who was practicing violin unprompted when she was 11. And her then-little-guy Stevie was just 8. It’s difficult to believe that each was younger than my 12-year-old Jane.

They were always there for us, and it’s so impactful for children to have that kind of support.

I happily sat back and watched Milo and 19-year-old Eddie – who also made the trip, since again it’s like home – chat with Brenda for hours around her dining room table.

We live in a world in which children are fortunate to have stability and some sense of direction in their home. I’ve tried to provide that, and there is the bonus for us in Austin, which is such an idyllic city.

The cherry on top for the boys is the South by Southwest experience. They’re looking forward to checking out Beck at Austin City Limits, revisiting Willie Nelson’s annual bash on his Spicewood ranch and screening “Facing Nolan,” the Nolan Ryan documentary, which is one of the best baseball films I’ve ever seen.

The experience will be capped by the annual South by Southwest softball tournament. Eddie couldn’t help but note he’s still the reigning MVP after he led the print team to a return to the championship game three years ago.

It’s all fun, but it’s been even better reminiscing with Brenda about how I had an adverse reaction to rum and the hot Cuban sun, how my high school baseball glove was donated on that trip (I always thought it was stolen) and how much easier my kids are compared to yours truly.

“I really hope that Milo goes to school at St. Ed’s,” Brenda said. “I’ll be here. That’ll be good for him, and you guys will visit more often.”

Brenda might also join me in Spokane. While discussing my real estate quandary, Brenda and I have talked about going in on a multiplex.

For some inexplicable reason, Brenda can’t get enough of us. She even pulled me aside to admit that she would love it if Eddie ended up with her terrific boyfriend Tom’s lovely granddaughter, Gandan.

It’s wonderful to be wanted. I never felt that connection with my cousins, most of whom are considerably older and are just not relatable. That’s fine. As we travel through life, we hopefully find our tribe.

It really does take a village, and we’re lucky to have a special person who looks out for us in the Southwest – we love and appreciate Brenda.

So when you or your family encounter an intelligent, amusing stranger on the road, perhaps in a communist country where resources are extremely limited, be open. You just might have met your new best friend.