Dear Annie: Husband kicks off retirement without me

Dear Annie: My recently retired husband of 43 years has agreed to take a 10-day trip with his sisters. He will be off seeing the Caribbean as I go to work each day back home. He agreed to this trip, and now I find out he will be sharing a bed with his oldest sister, who paid for the trip as a gift to her siblings.

I am not sure how I feel about this, and I am sure he may regret it, too, as she can be quite difficult at times. Am I wrong to be sad by the fact that I am still here, actually paying every bill that we have and working to keep a business afloat? Our neighborhood has also seen a huge uptick in crime, and so I must be home before evening sets in to feel safe here alone.

This is not how I imagined our golden years would be like. Am I wrong to feel excluded and, yes, like a bit of a doormat? – Feeling Like an Old Shoe

Dear Feeling Like an Old Shoe: It is understandable that you feel left out. You and your husband are a unit, and his sister should have taken spouses into consideration. If it was a financial matter, then perhaps she could have invited siblings, but everyone pays their own way. As for his sleeping in the same bed with his older sister, that’s highly inappropriate.

Dear Annie: What’s the proper way to deal with people who talk too much? If I encounter someone like that professionally or socially, I politely listen and avoid that person as much as possible in the future. My mother-in-law is my dilemma. She is a lovely person but quite rude in this respect. I would chalk it up to maladies that frequently occur in old age, but my husband has informed me that she has always been this way.

I feel terrible that she is very isolated, possibly because of this unfortunate trait. I also would never want her or my husband to have hurt feelings because I avoid the monologue visits quite often. Is there any kind way to go about this, for her and us? – Loving but Weary Daughter-in-Law

Dear Weary: Your mother-in-law sounds lonely and, while she might be aware to an extent of her talkativeness, seems oblivious to the real annoyance it causes to those around her.

At the end of the day, she’s family, so indulge her – within reason. Be polite but remember it’s OK to shut down conversations early and often or redirect the conversation to something you’re more interested in discussing.

Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.