Miss Manners: Is it insulting to wish an athlete ‘good luck?’
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I teach at a university, and often communicate with student athletes about upcoming absences due to various sporting events. I want to wish them well in their upcoming competitions.
What is the best way to do this? I am tempted to say “Good luck in the game this weekend” or something similar. But in many cases, these are athletes who work hard to perform at very high levels. I wonder if wishing them luck might diminish their hard work, talent and skill.
GENTLE READER: Only if they are reeeally looking for an insult. Or if, as with the theater world, saying “good luck” is actually bad luck. However, Miss Manners does not recommend the traditional theatrical saying – “Break a leg!” – to athletes, for obvious reasons.
“Have a great game!” seems innocent enough. Stick with that.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was hosting my mother-in-law for the weekend for my daughter’s first birthday party, which I held at my house on a Saturday. I am a working mom who does a fair amount of overtime, both in and out of the home, but I still decorated extensively for the party and made all the food from scratch, in addition to planning homemade meals for my houseguests.
My mother-in-law warned me in advance that all she needs to be happy is a steady supply of coffee. I tried to accommodate this to the best of my ability, but I was extremely busy the day of the party.
My other set of in-laws (my husband’s father and stepmother) were staying at a hotel, but they came by the morning of the party and helped set up. My mother-in-law socialized from the couch for a good seven hours leading up to the party.
Not more than a half-hour into the fete, my mother-in-law suddenly and loudly announced that she was leaving to get herself a special energy drink. I was appalled and hurt. I had worked so hard to create a fun and comfortable environment for my guests, but she felt she couldn’t sit through my baby’s party without her little treat.
When I tried to vent about this situation on a moms’ forum, I got attacked and told it’s not that big of a deal to leave a party and get your caffeine fix. But my mother-in-law had all day to do this. Instead, she waited until the party started.
What am I meant to think?
GENTLE READER: You are meant to think – by certain parties, at least – that the one solitary bit of happiness that your poor mother-in-law requested, you were too preoccupied to provide.
In Miss Manners’ estimation, your mistake is two-fold: caring that much about your mother-in-law’s overdramatic errand announcement, and then trying to validate your hurt feelings through social media.
As you may never make either one happy, Miss Manners recommends you cease trying so hard – and enjoy the guests who stayed.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website www.missmanners.com.