Miss Manners: Cuteness doesn’t guarantee you the chair you want

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What do you do if someone takes your chair? Does it matter if it is the throne of a ruler of great lands?

Let me explain.

My family and I were waiting to be seated at a restaurant and we found a corner of a bench to rest. A few minutes go by, and a little patron (preschool age) came and said, “Hey, you’re in our seat!” I smiled and allowed him and his mother to take the seat. The mother seemed aghast and at a loss as to what to do.

I reassured her that it was fine. “Little legs get tired,” I said with a smile. She reluctantly took the seat.

I was in a similar situation when my own son was small. He had been playing outside the elementary school as I sat on a nearby bench. He claimed a separate bench as his “throne” and alternated between standing on his throne and adventuring across the land.

While he was out questing, a woman came to rest on the throne. In his very best, most polite voice, he asked, “Can you please move?”

She was unaware of the kingdom and the imaginary knights coming to the defense of the king. She looked at me expectantly, but I was unsure what to do. I said something about my son sitting with me, but the stranger offered to share the throne, and my son was satisfied with that result.

So, what’s a girl to do in that situation?

GENTLE READER: Why? Do you want to kick someone out of a public space, too?

You can try to gaslight Miss Manners and her readers with what you think is unabashed cuteness, but none of us is buying it.

Teaching children that they have a right to any seat they want, real or imaginary, is rude – no matter how adorable the little voices making the demand. (And frankly, you do not make a convincing case that either interaction was adorable.)

These children grow up thinking it is their right to push people out of their favorite subway seats. So please do not encourage this behavior. It is rude no matter what the age.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I ask questions like, “How tall are you?,” “How fast was it?” or “How much does it weigh?,” I expect an answer with a quantity and a unit of measure – e.g., 5-foot-4, 60 miles per hour, 10 pounds.

But lately, so many reporters on television are instead asking questions like, “How sad are you?,” “How exciting was it?” or “How proud are you?”

These are emotions. I wish someone who is asked one of these questions would just respond with “27.”

GENTLE READER: Indeed. Not only are the answers non-quantifiable, but these questions lead the subject – dictating the person’s feelings, not even asking what they were.

Miss Manners agrees that this is not only lazy journalism, but it is not even red carpet or talk show worthy. Coming up with some actual questions would be far more entertaining – for everyone.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website www.missmanners.com.