Men can handle hearing about period cramps. Silence hurts more. | Opinion

I’m a pain researcher and a mom. My preteen son recently asked what kind of pain I study. I told him: menstrual pain. I explained what menstruation is, what the pain feels like, and mentioned that some of his classmates may soon experience it. To my great surprise, he didn’t roll his eyes or call it gross. Instead, he said, “That must be hard for girls trying to focus in class while in pain.”

His response warmed my heart, both as his mom and as a pain researcher. Boys can understand, and they care. Yet, we often assume that they can’t and don’t. We need to talk with boys and men about menstrual pain, because silence keeps it invisible and dismissed even today. And that silence creates real barriers – to research, to care and to support.

Menstrual pain is far from trivial. It affects more than half of females of reproductive age and more than 70% of adolescents and young women. It’s a leading cause of school and work absences and can disrupt sleep, physical activities and social life.

What many don’t realize is that menstrual pain can have long-term consequences. Repeated painful episodes like menstrual pain can actually change how the nervous system processes pain, leaving some people more vulnerable to chronic pain conditions later in life.

Despite all these consequences, we don’t seem to treat menstrual pain as a problem worth solving: Only 1 in 1,000 pain research papers focus on dysmenorrhea.

Ironically, when I returned to graduate school, I didn’t consider menstrual pain a legitimate condition to study – even though I had experienced severe cramps as a teenager. Back then, I saw it as simply “part of being a woman” and an awkward topic to discuss.

Growing up, I learned to hide menstrual pads in my sleeves, especially around boys. If I missed class because of pain, I gave my male teacher a different reason. Later, I discovered my story is far from unique. Research shows that when women called in sick due to menstrual symptoms, only 1 in 5 informed their school or employer that their period was the reason for their absence.

Across many cultures, menstruation and menstrual pain remain taboo topics. This silence lessens awareness and the possibilities for research, funding and treatment options – leaving millions to suffer without support.

Men often hold positions of power – in schools, workplaces, clinical settings and grant review panels – yet menstrual pain rarely enters their conversations. That silence matters. In our current systems, decisions about education, resources and support often rest with them.

But this isn’t just about power. Men and boys are also friends, family members, teachers, coaches and teammates. When they understand menstrual pain, they can offer empathy and support where it matters most. And here’s the good news: Compassion benefits everyone.

Research shows that compassion toward others predicts better mental and physical health later in life. Talking about menstrual pain isn’t just helpful for women – it can be good for men, too.

Some people may claim that talking about menstrual pain makes women look weak, yet managing pain while excelling in school, work and sports is a sign of strength, not weakness. And, yes, the topic can feel uncomfortable – but that discomfort is exactly why we need to talk about it.

Silence perpetuates stigma, and stigma creates barriers to care, research and support. Breaking that cycle starts with open and honest conversations.

If an 11-year-old boy can understand that menstrual pain makes it hard for girls at school, so can we. Many boys and men are curious about women’s experiences. And I believe they want to be allies.

So, let’s start talking. Talk to your sons, your partners, your friends. Normalize these conversations at home, in schools and in workplaces. Menstrual pain is not a private inconvenience – it’s a public health issue that affects education, work, quality of life and long-term health. Silence and stigma have held us back for too long. One conversation at a time, we can make sure no girl misses out on learning, sports or other important parts of life because of pain that was dismissed.

Chen X. Chen, PhD, is the Sorensen Endowed Professor at the College of Nursing at the University of Arizona.