January 5, 1995 in Features

The Slice Cold Weather Can Bring Out Some Blue Language

By The Spokesman-Review
 

We know that at least a few Inland Northwesterners resolved to clean up their language in 1995.

Good idea. Swearing is, after all, more lazy than expressive.

Anyway, we’ve been wondering how they did when their cars didn’t want to start during the cold snap.

It would be so nice: If more people around here recognized that “Christian” and “Christian Right” are not synonymous.

Let’s see a show of hands: Who else is seriously tired of Washington’s license plate design?

Face it: In Spokane, the only way to avoid running into people from work on the weekend is to stay home and bolt the door.

Have you noticed: That the people who write sitcoms seem to think the word “Idaho” is hilarious?

Warning: Reruns of “The Twilight Zone” on the Sci-Fi channel can be addicting.

Do we have this straight: So women are supposed to smilingly accompany men to “Guns ‘n’ Car Chase Hooters II,” but men won’t go see “Little Women” because they fear it will shrink their privates?

Overheard at NorthTown (a little boy responding to his mother’s request that he stop being annoying): “What’s ‘annoying’ mean?”

Overheard at the downtown Spokane library (a little girl in the early stages of learning “The Alphabet Song”): “A, B, C, D…D, D, D.”

Of course, some were lying: Eighty-two percent of Americans 35-andolder consider themselves positive thinkers, according to a recent Gallup survey.

Warm-up question: Has anyone in the Inland Northwest ever momentarily blacked out during a challenging diaper-changing?

Today’s Slice question: If space aliens forced you to choose a drug to dump into Spokane’s water supply you naturally would want to select something that would produce a civic benefit, so what kind of drug would you pick?

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