All She Understands Is Dollar Diplomacy

Ivana Trump, who already has her own lines of clothing and jewelry and writes an advice column in the Globe, has another ambition: entering the diplomatic corps.

“I feel an ambassadorship is something I could do very well,” Trump told McCall’s magazine. “You have to be a business person, diplomatic, good with people, know language and protocol, be social and all that. I know those fields, and I have those qualities.”

Trump said becoming ambassador to her native Czech Republic might be perfect for her someday. “I really could help them so much,” she said. “I know the mentality of the Eastern countries, and I speak the languages: Russian, Czech, Polish.”

There’s just one catch: “To be an ambassador is a wonderful thing, but it really doesn’t pay much.”

Loose talk

MTV news anchor Tabitha Soren, on her fashion sense (in People magazine): “If I’m talking about the war in Bosnia, I won’t be wearing a bustier.” He could use something in basic black

David Souter turns 56 today.

Donald doesn’t want to think about it

The current Mrs. Art of the Deal, Marla Maples Trump, just finished filming a video with Naomi Campbell for a new Bruce Roberts song that includes the lyrics: “Will you still love me when the money is gone?”

But everybody else realized it first

Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas recalls being so scared when he started Yale Law School that he could barely breathe. “I was intimidated,” he said at his alma mater, Holy Cross College. “As soon as I got there, I said, ‘Everybody here is smarter than me.’ And after a year or so you realize that everybody isn’t smarter than you.”

Newt’s always sticking his neck out

In response to House Speaker Newt Gingrich’s comment to a college class that men are “biologically driven to hunt giraffes” comes a new political action committee called the Giraffe Hunters of America PAC, to lobby for the importation of giraffes to the United States so “men can satisfy their natural biologic instincts without going to Africa.”

You’re still a bozo back home, boy

California Rep. Sonny Bono says he gets a lot more respect in Washington than he did in Hollywood. “In the Beltway, my credibility isn’t an issue,” he says. “Since I know the (entertainment) industry, in fact, (Gingrich) considers me an expert. He accepts it as my turf.”

In D.C., hot air always does the job

An actual entry from Sen. Bob Packwood’s diary, circa March 20, 1992: “Went down and used the hot tub for 20 minutes … I came out and tried something. I just blew my hair. I didn’t use any gel on it at all. I just blew it until it was about dry, combed it … It had just the right amount of bounce and wave to it. I came back rather confident.”

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 2 Photos

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Rick Bonino