For Good Or Ill, A Memorable Occasion

There are brides who plan everything down to the after-dinner mints with both sets of initials entwined in a heart. Their bridesmaids match their garters. Their thank you notes are written on their honeymoon.

Then there are brides who just wing it. Sometimes that works out, and sometimes it doesn’t. Laura: “I was pregnant and he was underage. His parents were living overseas and in our state we could only get permission to marry by diplomatic courier. (Read: slow boat to China.)

Eager that people would have to use at least six fingers to count, we went to a neighboring state with my parents, brother and best friend. The best man did not bother to appear. We were turned down by every clergyman of our respective denominations and had to settle for a justice of the peace.

“I was so excited, not to mention relieved, to be saying my vows, that I was blubbering incoherently, and the justice of the peace stared in amazement, apparently expecting me to bolt at any moment. My husband stood by, mortified by my lack of decorum.

“I developed a terrific migraine and had to sleep with a wet cloth over my eyes, which made me look like the Queen of Frizz on my first morning as a married woman. This was just a foretaste of many occasions of looking frumpy, regardless of effort as a newlywed.

“Our big honeymoon was one night at the Midtown Motel. The next morning, my father picked us up and took us to my parents’ house for the day. That evening, I returned to my dorm room while my groom returned to his. We didn’t have an apartment yet - no bucks. We lived in our respective dorms for the next two weeks.

On our first night in our love nest, the bed fell. It was the first of many times. We’ve now been married 27 years. We are blessed!”

Renee: “My wedding was supposed to be the wedding - the $15,000 dress, $10,000 dinner, flowers, limos, the whole works. But then the plans were changed. We got married hush-hush at the justice of the peace with just my mother-in-law there, standing in line, like at a deli counter, waiting for our number to be called while we rehearsed saying just exactly what we needed to say so we didn’t take too much time and keep the others waiting even longer.

Then we drove (I was in the back seat) to a local bar and grill for dinner. My mother-in-law complained constantly. My husband said since he had paid for the $25 marriage license, I should pay for dinner.

“I have no photos of that day. Later, we had a little get together at a bar - I paid again - for friends and family. Few people bothered to show up. I was two months pregnant, but I ended up dragging my husband up two flights of stairs because he was so drunk. I sat up eating leftovers and talking with my brother-in-law all night.

It took three years to finally get divorced. The fool contested everything. If I ever get married again it will be after a very long engagement and premarital counseling.”

Betty: “We agreed to marry in late May and set the date for June 27. One aunt made my dress and another made dresses for the maid of honor and the bridesmaid. Some relatives brought food and others helped my mother serve. The groom’s friends tended bar. This happened in 1953 and the fun lasted until 1992, when my husband died.”

Denise: “I’m an only child and my parents planned my wedding as if it were a three-ring extravaganza. Once the planning got started, there was no stopping it, although I wanted to. It took on a life of its own. I wanted so many times to call if off, but that would have entailed so much, it seemed easier to just go through with it and then get divorced later. And that’s what I did.”