Don’t Reward Petty Jealousy

Dear Ann Landers: My 55-year-old twin brother and I have been very close all our lives. Now, a family matter is threatening our relationship.

My brother, “John,” and his wife have no children. My wife and I raised two wonderful sons, the only two grandchildren of my recently widowed mother.

John has learned that my mother has decided to leave equal amounts to her two sons in her will and a small percentage to each of her two grandsons. John says that this is unfair to him and Mom should leave nothing to my children since he had no children.

My mother doesn’t want to proceed as if my sons didn’t exist just because John had no children. My sons adore their grandmother and always have been very close to her.

John says any money given to my sons by our mother means he will inherit less. Since he has more money than I do, I can’t understand why he is making such a point of this.

He keeps telling my mother that if she leaves money to my sons it will be proof that she loves me more than she loves him and it isn’t fair.

Tell me, Ann, what should my mother do? How can I get John to stop nagging her about this? It is creating serious conflicts within the family. - R.B., Fresno, Calif.

Dear Fresno: John’s argument is totally irrational. I suspect the root of the problem is that you had two fine sons and John didn’t have any children. He feels that you have outperformed him, and he wants to get even any way he can.

If your mother is of sound mind she will ignore John’s petty, self-serving sniping and proceed with her plan to remember her grandsons in her will. If she is not totally rational, an unbiased family member or friend should enlighten the lawyer who will be handling your mother’s estate.

Dear Ann Landers: When we married, my wife, who has a degree in business administration, took over all financial responsibility for the two of us, personally as well as for our company. She was vice president, secretary and treasurer. After 11 years of marriage, we relocated. A couple of years later, she announced she wanted a divorce. It was then that I found out there had been no company tax returns filed, no personal returns filed and no capital gains forms completed. When I asked, “How could this have happened?” she said, “I was busy with other things, and I lost interest. Besides, they will never catch us.”

While I believe people should pay as little in taxes as possible, I also believe we all should pay what we owe. I have just finished paying a tax bill of $132,000, including interest and penalties.

What do you think about this fine kettle of fish? - W.C., Nevada City, Calif.

Dear W.C.: I think you are the sucker in this “fine kettle of fish.” Meanwhile, you have learned a very valuable lesson. It goes like this: Never assume anything - especially where money is involved.

In your case, it appears that your wife was not only flaky but inherently dishonest. P.S.: This is more evidence that a business degree is no substitute for common sense.

Gem of the Day: Don’t throw away the old bucket until you have made sure that the new one will hold water.

xxxx