Go Ahead, Pile On Trivia And Travail

Dear Ann Landers: When we moved to Canada from the States 10 years ago, we knew it would be difficult to keep up with all our friends, but we were certain we’d hear from everyone at Christmas. Those wonderful newsletters and pictures of their kids were a great way to stay in touch.

Now, thanks to your column about what a bore annual newsletters are, we didn’t receive even one this past season. The year before, we received 10.

Obviously, our friends read your column and take it seriously. They didn’t want to come off as bores or braggarts, so they didn’t tell us how their daughter’s graduation went, if they had fun on their trip to the Orient or anything personal. With all the employment problems these days, we’d like to be assured that our friends are still working.

A signature on a holiday greeting card doesn’t tell us much, although we did get some lovely cards from our insurance agent, our dentist, our financial consultant and a number of business associates. We really miss those great newsletters from our friends.

Thanks, Ann, for making last Christmas a little less cheery and a lot more remote. You really did a number on St. Nick. - Bah, Humbug! in Edmonton

Dear Ed.: Here it is March, and I’m still getting blistering letters for putting the kibosh on Christmas newsletters. Yours was one of several.

So - let it be known to one and all that I take it back. Start now to gather facts for your 1996 Christmas newsletter.

Don’t leave out anything. People really do want details of your face lift and tummy tuck, your daughter-in-law’s tubal ligation and your husband’s hair transplant. Tell them about your cocker spaniel’s litter, and if you have a photo of your daughter in her ballet costume, send it along with a copy of the letter from your alderman thanking you for helping him get re-elected.

I apologize for discouraging folks from sending those newsy chronicles loaded with personal details. Please reactivate the tradition. Obviously, I’m out of the loop.

Dear Ann Landers: I have been married for 12 years to “Rosetta.” We get along OK. Before we met, she was literally left at the altar when “Tom” decided at the last minute that he didn’t want to marry her.

Rosetta and I have only one major problem. It’s a red heart-shaped box on our bedroom closet shelf that contains Tom’s love letters and a photo album of their two-year romance, plus newspaper articles about Tom, some rather recent, mailed to Rosetta by old friends.

I understand I was not her first choice, but I don’t like to be reminded of it whenever I go into the closet. I have discussed my feelings openly, and Rosetta thinks I am overly sensitive. She also believes that most married women have a special love in their past that they will never forget and that the letters are nothing more than harmless reminders.

Ann, is Rosetta right? If you say so, I’ll accept your word. I am - Uncertain But Hurt in Chicago

Dear Uncertain But Hurt: Rosetta may be right about some women having a soft spot in their hearts for a past love, but that doesn’t justify keeping the old letters on the closet shelf where the husband can see them every day of his life. Surely she can find another place for them. I strongly recommend it.