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Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Hagar Hits The Highway, Going A Bit Faster Than 55

Compiled By Staff Writer Dan Web

What we know so far about the Van Halen crisis: Sammy Hagar is out, David Lee Roth was temporarily in but now is back out, and now someone named Gary Cherone is in.

Gary Cherone? It seemed only yesterday, although it’s been a couple of months, that Roth - who broke from the band’s other three members in 1985 - seemed to be back for good. There he and the others were, posing all smiley-like at the MTV Music Awards in June.

“I wanted to believe it just as much as anyone else,” Roth said, admitting that the group had agreed only to record “a couple of songs.”

As for Hagar, he labels the split a “devastating, backstabbing, I-don’t-get-it, real big disappointment.”

Loose talk

Maury Povich, husband of Connie Chung, on their mutually adopted 15-month-old boy: “At this point in my life. I thought the only time I’d get down on my knees would be to beg my wife’s forgiveness. Now I’m reading ‘Pat the Bunny.”’

Wasn’t he the ‘90210’ guy who wore sideburns?

Luke Perry turns 29 today.

Sure they’re dopes! Some think Barbara Bosson can act!

When television critics were less than complimentary about Steven Bochco’s new program “Public Morals,” the famous producer responded in kind. “The overwhelming majority of those folks,” Bochco told Entertainment Weekly, “are dopes.”

He still tiptoes through the tulips, though with a walker

Tiny Tim, at 64 suffering from congestive heart failure, diabetes and other health problems, is thankful for the life he’s had. “When you think of people like Michael Landon dying way before his time, Elvis Presley, so many others who haven’t seen a full life, it’s a blessing to live this long without pain,” he said on Wednesday.

Look for Max Headroom in a choice supporting role

George Burns is dead, but that won’t stop him. A computer-enhanced version of the late comedy actor is all set to star in the fourth of the “Oh, God!” series. According to Variety columnist Army Archerd, producer Scott Edmund Lane describes the film as “‘Oh, God!’ meets ‘A Fish Called Wanda’ at ‘Annie Hall’s‘ house.”

If she writes like she acts, that would be embarrassing

Joan Collins complained when Random House rejected her manuscript. She screamed when the publisher sued to retrieve her $1.3 million advance. She squealed when the courts ruled in her favor, but now she’s screeching all over again. Why? Random House may publish her manuscript anyway. Her lawyer, Kenneth Burrows, says it’s “to publicly humiliate” her.

And we know the perfect ghost writer (see above)

Sherry Rowlands, the prostitute whose revelations sank the career of presidential adviser Dick Morris, is thinking of writing her memoir. Working title? “If You Think You Know Morris, You Don’t Know Dick.”

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 2 Color photos

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Dan Webster