Staged Wedding When Things Go Wrong On Tony ‘N’ Tina’s Big Day, You Just Have To Laugh
We went to Seattle for a wedding last weekend, and what a wedding it was.
The flowers arrived late, the pregnant bridesmaid blew a bubble, the bride marched down the aisle to a Paula Abdul tune, the priest fell down drunk at the reception, the groom’s father brought a stripper as a date, the bride’s old boyfriend was tossed out of the reception (three times), the happily wedded couple got in a screaming fight and the groom asked the drunk priest for an annulment.
In other words, it was the best darn wedding we have ever attended.
And the best thing about it is anybody can attend. It’s actually a theater piece, “Tony ‘n’ Tina’s Wedding,” playing at Pilgrim Congregational Church in Seattle’s Broadway district through May 31. Remember all of those weddings where you wished you could laugh out loud, but couldn’t? Here’s one where you can laugh for more than two solid hours.
This long-running hit has already been extended so many times that it celebrated its first anniversary in Seattle last week, which means that “Tony ‘n’ Tina’s Wedding” has lasted longer, no doubt, than Tony ‘n’ Tina’s marriage. It also means it is one of longest running plays ever to hit Seattle.
Is “play” the right word? Yes, there are actors, and yes, there is a script. But this is interactive theater. The audience attends the wedding in the church, exactly as if it were a real wedding, and then everyone troops outside to the church hall for the reception (complete with live band, dancing and full Italian dinner). Probably less than half of the show is actually scripted; the rest is made up on the spot by the actors as they mingle with the audience.
This unusual show began as a campy off-Broadway novelty in New York. The idea was to present the tackiest Italian-American wedding imaginable. It was an immediate smash, and branches of it have now sprouted in cities around the country. Seattle’s version is produced by Cloud 9 Productions, which is best known as a concert promoter.
As the guests (the audience, between 100 and 200 strong) arrive at the church, they are seated by the ushers. Right away, it’s obvious that this isn’t a typical wedding. Most ushers don’t frisk the guests.
The wedding proceeds like a real wedding, complete with prayers and hymns and readings. The wedding photographer (Teri Thomas) galumphs across the church, keys clanging, taking artsy photos of the light fixtures. One of the bridesmaids takes off her shoes in mid-ceremony. The mother of the bride walks around with a box of Kleenex, handing out tissues. The bride (Aimee Adams) concludes her dramatic reading by saying, “Yeah, right.”
But it isn’t until the reception that things really get rolling. The reception hall has been turned into an Italian restaurant banquet hall called Vinnie Black’s Coliseum, complete with a sleazy cover band called Donny Dulce and Fusion. Vinnie and his lovely wife Loretta preside over the festivities. When Loretta wants to call each table up to the “Buffet of Love” (salad, pasta, meatballs), she uses a bullhorn.
The wedding party sits at a raised table, but other actors sit at the tables with the guests, improvising small talk while staying in character. At our table, the priest (Zack Hoffman) declined a glass of champagne by saying he had to make a visit to an ailing parishioner, Mary Rose. Later, when he was half-swacked, according to the script, he came over and told us that Mary Rose had died, so he decided to stick around after all.
Meanwhile, all kinds of subplots are being played out. The maid of honor is caught in hanky panky under a table; the nun (Jill Clarke) kisses an old boyfriend; and the bride’s old boyfriend Michael (Ron Rains) shows up in a surly mood. He is eventually thrown bodily out of the reception, only to sneak back in again and again.
By this time, people in the audience feel as if they know these characters. You can hear the whispers flying through the crowd: “Look, over in the corner. Michael’s back. There’s going to be trouble.”
So much is going on, any one audience member can’t possibly catch it all. Thus the show is different for each person.
As the evening draws to a climax, the guests have completely broken down the walls separating audience and performer. Soon, guests are dancing with the bride, participating in the “Chicken Dance” and holding hands, swaying together and belting out “That’s Amore.”
It all ends with everybody making a tunnel with their upraised hands and seeing the happy couple off to their honeymoon. Apparently, Tony ‘n’ Tina will live happily ever after, or until the next show.
The whole thing is so exhausting, you wonder how the cast can possibly do it four times a week. It is, quite literally, like staging a full wedding every night. One wedding per lifetime is enough for most people. One former cast member was quoted in the Seattle Weekly as calling the show “a major energy suck.”
Yet it is that rarest of theatrical endeavors: a big-time money maker. (At $37.50 and $47.50 per ticket, it’s easy to see why).
As theater, it is nothing special. The “script” is mostly an attempt to organize the chaos. It’s not so much a great play as a great concept.
As entertainment, however, it can hardly be beat. “Tony ‘n’ Tina’s Wedding” has become a popular show for office groups, birthday groups, and, of course, bachelor and bachelorette parties.
, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Color photo
MEMO: This sidebar appeared with the story: THEATER PREVIEW “Tony ‘n’ Tina’s Wedding” runs Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights plus Saturday afternoons through May 31 at the Pilgrim Congregational Church, Broadway at East Republican in Seattle. Tickets are $47.50 for Friday and Saturday nights, $37.50 for Thursday night and Saturday matinees (all prices include dinner). Call the box office at (206) 323-6323 or Ticketmaster at (206) 292-ARTS for more information.