The Slice King Of Elvis Anecdotes?

Today’s Slice contains nothing about Elvis.

Even though we are an Inland Northwest rarity in that we actually have a few decent Elvis anecdotes.

It’s true. We won’t go into details today. But long ago, in a previous life in Memphis, our Elvis-commentator credentials were such that we were interviewed on CBS and ABC by reporters looking for someone to explain the enduring phenomenon.

It’s hard to remember the specific questions. But something we said made Lesley Stahl smile. Of course, she might have been faking.

Bold prediction: The closing of Grand Boulevard will prompt a surge in sales of personal helicopters.

We’d like to see a transcript of the entire exchange: A friend overheard a snippet of a conversation downtown that made him wonder what he had missed. (The speaker was a woman with many tattoos.)

“…and then there was that time I got stabbed with a screwdriver in a bar fight….”

Spokane signs seen and enjoyed: “I Can Dig It,” on a truck belonging to an excavating business.

And “Lasts Longer,” on an ice company’s delivery truck.

Sarcasm is fun: You might recall our mentioning a friend who jokingly responds to various forms of idiocy by saying, “Thank you, Spokane!”

Well, in Suzanne Hatcher’s family, they say, “Way to go, Spokane.”

OK, one more of these: Bonnie Colby of Otis Orchards has a friend who once found her false teeth at the bottom of her sleeping bag.

Just wondering: Is it too much to ask that grocery stores actually enforce the requirement that shoppers wear shoes?

The violators we’ve observed and heard about haven’t been destitute. They are simply foregoing footwear as a way of expressing their counterculture individuality. Or something. Frankly, we wish they would do it somewhere else.

There’s a reason nobody refers to 1997 as “The Age of Elegance”: A majority of responses to our question about ways to discourage people from sitting right next to you in movie theaters involved flatulence.

Madonna Luers writes: “The REAL Spokane euphemism for ending wildlife: Built another mall and six more housing subdivisions.”

Today’s Slice question: Did you suddenly become more popular after you installed a swimming pool?

, DataTimes MEMO: The Slice appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. Patty Gaul reminded us that more than a few skateboarders are good kids.