Men Consult A New ‘Code’ In Answer To ‘The Rules,’ Authors Tell Ment How To Stay Single

Watch out, “Rules Girls.” The “Code Boys” are on to you.

Two book editors in New York had to do something when they saw that “The Rules” - written by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider - had developed a life of its own: seminars at The Learning Annex in Los Angeles and New York, support groups, a personal phone consultation service that starts at $65 for 15 minutes - even rights to a movie have been sold for $250,000.

Nate Penn and Lawrence LaRose, both single, are now out to slay this dating dragon for all mankind.

The pair heard about and read “The Rules” separately. LaRose called it “a retrograde take on romance.” During an innocuous e-mail conversation about the book, the two men half-jokingly said someone ought to write a man’s counterpoint to “The Rules.”

Ka-boom - their joke turned into their reality.

After a whirlwind of contract negotiating and writing over a few weeks, the result was “The Code: Time-tested Secrets for Getting What You Want from Women - Without Marrying Them!”

A witty, funny, sometimes bawdy manual for the man who refuses to be roped into matrimony, “The Code” spoofs “The Rules” almost point by point. Women, make sure to take a few humor pills before reading.

The back cover is fair warning: “Fight back. Know the code. Remember: A relationship is not a democratic institution. Someone has to take charge, and it might as well be you.”

“The Code” promises to break all “The Rules.”

“It’s the Rosetta Stone for the male psyche,” Penn said.

Take Rule No. 4, “Don’t call him or rarely return his calls,” and No. 13, “Don’t see him more than once or twice a week.”

LaRose and Penn’s decoding: “Women will try to manipulate the market by feigning scarcity - not returning calls, refusing more than one date a week - and thereby make themselves more desirable. But such artificial price supports ultimately frustrate domestic consumers (like you!) and encourage exchange with foreign ports - France, Sweden, Brazil (or Natasha, Sophie, Gabriella). Who the hell is going to be complaining about trade imbalance then?”

The point of “The Code”: to get in, get out - unscathed.

On getting in: Cook risotto for her.

On getting out: Promise risotto; hotdogs instead, no buns.

On getting in: Massage her feet with Lubriderm.

On getting out: Clip toenails over the kitchen sink.

Although “The Code” is wickedly patterned in cover and concept after “The Rules,” the styles of writing in the two books are worlds apart.

Unlike “The Rules,” which was written in simple fashion, “The Code” reads like a dating treatise between Frasier and Niles Crane after a few bottles of Dom Perignon.

The book is not even out yet, and already there’s enough of a buzz about “The Code” that LaRose and Penn have been able to sell the film option for six figures and may be conducting seminars at The Learning Annex in New York.

Intent on preserving their requisite images as “Code Guys,” Penn said, after a loaded pause, that he and LaRose each are “close friends with a girl.”

But even they admit that, eventually, a “Code Guy” can succumb to the manacles of marriage.

“Only time beats ‘The Code,’ ” LaRose said.