As Long As He’s Doing Lunch With You
Dear Ann Landers: How is a wife supposed to deal with the sexual harassment of her husband in his workplace? “Greg” is an attractive, sensitive man of 42 and has a high-level corporate job. His boss is a woman (about 35) whom he says he doesn’t find the least bit attractive. He has been in her department for almost a year and says she has been coming on to him from the day he started to work there.
Greg told me it’s at the point now where she comes up from behind and nuzzles his neck and holds his inner thigh when they work at the computer together. He finally stopped telling me what she does because it upsets me so. He is greatly intimidated by her and fears retaliation if he reports the abuse.
In the meantime, I have to send my husband off to work every morning knowing he is being fondled by this woman. When I try to discuss it with him, he says not to push him - that he will try to transfer out of the department soon. What can I do about this, Ann? I don’t want to jeopardize his job.
Greg and I have a great relationship, and I trust him completely. We spend all our free time together and meet for lunch almost daily. Please advise me. - Slightly Unhinged in Raleigh, N.C.
Dear Raleigh: Most companies have specific procedures for dealing with sexual harassment complaints. Greg needs to keep a record of the harassment and report the woman to her superior.
If you and your husband are having lunch together “almost daily,” you can be absolutely certain this woman is no threat to you. I see no reason for you to be “unhinged.”
Dear Ann Landers: Please let parents know they should not leave their children unattended at the public library. Sometimes, these kids are in the library for the entire day. They get bored, restless and occasionally disruptive. If parents don’t pick them up on time, the library staff must call the police or child protective services. Otherwise, the children wind up waiting alone outside a closed library. Last year, two girls, ages 7 and 15, were abducted and later raped after waiting outside a Maryland library for their mothers to pick them up.
Public libraries are also frequented by the mentally ill, the homeless and people who may attempt to prey on unsupervised young children. Please remind all parents that public libraries are not day care centers and children should not be left in any public building without supervision. - Doris in Washington, D.C.
Dear Doris: Thank you for a letter that could prevent a lot of heartache. Are you listening, parents?
Dear Ann Landers: The American Heart Association’s seven-year study of thousands of married couples confirms that a person who has never smoked but lives with a smoker has a higher heart disease rate. Non-smoking women married to men who smoke had a 19 percent higher risk of death from heart disease. Non-smoking men married to women who smoke had a 23 percent higher risk. It is predicted that 35,000 to 40,000 non-smokers will die of heart and blood vessel disease annually. Another 3,000 to 5,000 will die of lung cancer because they are exposed to tobacco smoke.
Please tell people that regular exposure to secondhand smoke can be deadly. - Informed in Mass.
Dear Informed: You did, and I thank you.