The Slice Summer Tips Can Prevent Looking Bad

Here are six things you need to keep in mind as summer approaches.

1. Getting angry about croquet makes you look stupid.

2. Not everyone should wear cut offs.

3. Just calling something a “salad” doesn’t make it a seasonal sensation.

4. Irrational confidence is the secret to successful outdoor grilling.

5. Deck envy is normal.

6. Don’t buy a lemonade from a kid at a sidewalk stand and then say, “You know, a little gin would really get this up on its feet.”

Another memorable tantrum: Coeur d’Alene’s Victoria Chadwick was in a store trying on bras when her daughter, who was not quite 3 at the time, decided to wander off.

“She walked out of the dressing room as I was hustling to get my shirt back on to go get her,” wrote Chadwick. “I told her she would have to stay with me until I was finished.”

The little girl got mad. Really mad. She started screaming and flailing.

Chadwick decided it wasn’t going to be a good day for bra shopping. So she fled the store with her daughter struggling all the way.

“The whole situation seemed so ridiculous to me that I started to laugh. This enraged my daughter further and she renewed the screaming and flailing. I calmly got her strapped into her car seat and proceeded to leave the lot. All this time she’s screaming and kicking and doing her best to bean me with her shoes. Next came her socks. Then her pants. Then her shirt. Till she was buck naked, still strapped in under the seat belt.”

Later, at home, after still more emotional tumult, the little girl chilled out. Even the child herself seemed amazed by the rage she’d experienced. “Gee, Mommy,” she said in all sincerity. “I guess I won’t be doing that again.”

And she hasn’t.

Slice answers: Our question about “creative” spellings of standard-sounding first names prompted strong reactions. Most readers weighing in were vehemently opposed to unusual spellings.

We heard plenty of examples. But we have no desire to cause hard feelings within families or in workplaces. So we’ll just pass along an idea from a reader named Sylvia.

She thinks first names ought to be recycled from the obituaries. That way, classic monikers such as Hazel or Herman would stay in circulation and not get totally supplanted by, say, Ashley and Justin.

Today’s Slice question: Has a Spokane-basher who went ahead and moved away ever been willing to admit later that he or she missed certain things about Spokane?

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Drawing

MEMO: The Slice appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. Try to describe the smell of blooming lilacs.