Swirling Gulls Gobble Fries By The Beakful

It was impossible to get an exact head count because they move around so much.

But Thursday at 6 p.m., it looked as if there were about 50 gulls working the parking lot at Dick’s Drive-In. And what a racket they made.

In addition to their signature shrieks, cries and caws, at least a few of the big white birds made a screeching noise that sounded suspiciously like “Fries!”

At that hour, the human clientele at the landmark Spokane hamburger joint ranged from Navy recruiters in starched whites to bikers in leather.

Some of the people sitting at picnic tables not far from the service windows tossed scraps to the gulls. Each time, it caused a small riot.

One little girl with a ridiculously weak throwing motion was having so much fun feeding the raucous birds that her mother had to keep reminding her to sit down and eat something herself.

The gulls more or less moved as a loose-knit pack. A couple of sparrows in their midst looked like bouncy brown bugs next to them.

When someone at the opposite end of the parking lot threw out a fistful of fries, it would cause a wild, noisy flurry. It was like a cross between frenzied scenes in Hitchcock’s “The Birds” and the way the Wicked Witch’s flying-monkey soldiers looked when landing en masse in “The Wizard of Oz.”

The gulls ate with the patience of piranha.

On occasion, one would land on a car and look in at the person behind the wheel, as if to say “OK chief, cough it up…ain’t got all day here.”

Some people consider them to be like pigeons - you know, rats with wings. And about half the cars pulling into the lot at Division and Third never slowed down for them.

But the truth is, they aren’t bad-looking birds.

They have these interesting black bands at the tips of their tan beaks. And their eyes are these yellowish rings surrounding jet-black pupils.

They move pretty well, scurrying across the parking lot on their webbed feet. But when they extend their long wings and lift off the ground, they look like creatures designed to make a living in a more noble way.

One seemingly demented man in a sleeveless shirt appeared at first to be pretending to shoot the gulls. But closer inspection revealed that he was just pointing in an “I see you” way.

Perhaps he imagined that he could tell one from another. Maybe he saw himself as the Bird Man of Dick’s.

But then someone chucked a wad of French fries and another feeding frenzy erupted.

, DataTimes MEMO: Being There is a weekly feature that visits Inland Northwest gatherings.