Positive Disorder: Kindness
Dear Ann Landers: I have read your column for as long as I can remember, and I’ve learned so much from you. And now I would like to pass along some of what I have learned to others. Please print this essay, which someone left in my mailbox. It has inspired me to do a good deed as part of my daily life. I hope it will inspire others to do the same:
Conspiracy of Kindness
A woman pulls her car alongside a toll booth and says, “I am also paying for the six cars behind me,” and she does. One after another, the next six cars pull up, and the collector says, “Someone ahead of you has already paid your fare. Have a nice day.”
The woman who paid the toll for strangers had read a note taped to her friend’s refrigerator. It said, “Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.” The friend had seen the message on a warehouse wall and couldn’t get it out of her mind. She took a pen out of her purse and wrote the saying on the back of an envelope. “I thought it was a message from above,” she said.
Her husband, a teacher, was so struck by it that he posted it on the bulletin board for his students, one of whom is my daughter. She passed a copy on to me. The next day, I asked our local paper to run it, admitting I didn’t know the source. Two days later, I heard from a writer in California. She had written on a place mat in a Chinese restaurant, “If you think there should be more of something, do it randomly. Kindness can be just as contagious as violence and hate.” She was unable to remember whom she had heard it from, but it appealed to her.
Now the message is spreading. As it spreads, the mission is accomplished. A passer-by may clear the neighbor’s driveway, mow his lawn or trim his hedges. A man plants daffodils in a drab place for others to enjoy. It’s a positive disorder and a sweet disturbance.
When you participate, you feel as if your own troubles have been lifted and the world is a better place. You can’t be the recipient of a good deed without it altering your outlook on life. Like all revolutions, kindness begins slowly and with a single act. Do it and see where it leads. Thanks for printing this, Ann. - R.C., Carbondale, Ill.
Dear Carbondale: Thanks for your wisdom. Your suggestion of random acts of kindness is inspiring, but if you are in Cincinnati, here’s one you should avoid: putting quarters in the meter to prevent some stranger from getting a ticket. A grandmother in Cincinnati did just that and was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct for obstructing official police business. It seems that putting money in an expired meter is against the law in Cincinnati. Will someone please explain this?
Dear Ann Landers: I have a suggestion for people who visit a mother with a newborn baby when there is an older child in the family. Of course, they should bring a gift for the baby, and of course, they should “ooh” and “aah.” But there is a way to help the older child feel less pain at not being “Mommy’s baby” anymore.
Greet the older child first and by name. Say something like this: “I came to see you and your new baby. I brought this gift for you and this one for you to give to your new sister (or brother). Open yours first!”
The older child is pleased to receive a gift and then delighted at giving your gift to the baby. Everyone is happy. - Bearer of Gifts in Dallas
Dear Dallas: A generous and simple solution to a sticky problem. Thank you for providing it.