Revelation Is Up To Daughter

Dear Ann Landers: Our daughter, “Janette,” is planning to marry a super guy this fall. He is a parent’s dream come true, and we are thrilled about it.

Here is the problem. Janette had what could be described as a promiscuous sexual adolescence and a reckless young adulthood. She was out of control early and would not listen to advice. No punishment seemed to deter her. The girl was strong-willed and a full participant in the loose sexual culture around her. The result was that she picked up genital warts. This is a highly contagious condition, and she has been battling for years to keep it in check. Unfortunately, there is no cure.

Janette has not told her fiance that she has this problem. She is afraid of losing the one decent guy she’s ever been involved with. I believe it is ethically wrong for him not to know. I am sure they have had sex or soon will do so. If she won’t tell him, should I? - West Chester, Pa.

Dear West Chester: You do not belong in this picture. It is up to your daughter to tell her fiance about this problem, and the sooner the better. To do otherwise would surely plant the seeds of destruction in the marriage.

Genital human papillomavirus (HPV) is one of the most common sexually transmitted diseases. Depending on the size and location of the warts, it may be possible to remove them. There are several methods available, and your daughter’s gynecologist can advise her.

While removing the warts will reduce the chances of transmitting the disease to her fiance, it does not eliminate the risk nor does it prevent the warts from coming back. Also, Janette should be aware that some types of genital HPV are closely linked with cervical cancer.

The more your daughter knows about this condition, the better she will be equipped to deal with it. I urge her to write at once to: HPV Support Program, Dept. PR98, P.O. Box 13827, Research Triangle Park, NC 27709. (Please enclose $1 for postage and handling. Internet: http//sunsite.unc.edu/ASHA)

Dear Ann Landers: Both my significant other and I have been previously married. We enjoy each other tremendously and agree that being a middle-aged couple in love is an incomparable joy.

We share housekeeping, which is no problem. Our dilemma is the laundry. She does not empty her pockets. Consequently, I have washed several pens, lighters, receipts and $5, $10 and $20 bills, which is a real nuisance. My wife insists that it is the responsibility of the washer to check all pockets. I was raised to empty my pockets before putting anything in the hamper.

Since we try not to sweat the small stuff, we have agreed to abide by your decision. Please, Ann, give us a permanent-press solution. We are both tired of arguing about this. - The Reluctant Artful Dodger in Abbotsford, B.C.

Dear B.C.: Common sense dictates that before a shirt, jeans or anything with pockets is tossed into the clothes hamper, it should be checked for coins, currency, cigarettes, lipsticks, keys, glasses, hard candy, chewing gum, shopping lists and receipts.

I covered this subject back in 1992, and while most readers agreed with my position, some thought any person who fails to check pockets before tossing the garment in a machine is an idiot. One woman said she kept whatever she found - including money, baseball cards and a gold bracelet. The most astute comment came from a wife who said, “If that’s the worst thing he ever does, I will be grateful.” Amen.