‘Wishmaster’ Turns Genie Into A Rogue
The joke, more or less, goes something like this: Somebody rubs a lamp. A genie appears and says, “What is thy bidding?” or whatever.
The lucky lamp-rubber says, “Make me a million dollars!”
“Done!,” the genie says and turns the guy into a pile of money.
How funny this joke is - and you’re giggling yourself hoarse right now, aren’t you? - depends on what the poor sap wishes for; a cheese sandwich, a door, a contract. (For whatever it’s worth, Lenny Bruce once used malted milk in the punchline.) However this joke is played, it wouldn’t occur to anyone that it could be the basis of a movie.
But yes indeed, some people have gone and done that very silly thing with “Wishmaster,” a prototypical grossfest designed - paraphrasing one of the hapless victims-to-be - to make you never again associate genies with Barbara Eden and Robin Williams.
The genie - sorry, the proper name is “djinn” - lives in a ruby opal that’s been stuck for several centuries in a statue of a sacred god. The statue breaks open, the opal is pocketed and soon finds its way into the hands of a gemologist (Linda Hamilton lookalike Tammy Lauren), who unwittingly stirs the djinn (Andrew Divoff) from slumber. (Guess how?)
Once Mister Djinn is out of his glass enclosure, it’s party time. He goads everyone he meets into making wishes he grants in the most elaborately brutal manner.
For instance, some idiot comes across Mr. D committing some atrocity.
“I wish I didn’t have to see this,” he wails. You can imagine what the follow-through is on this given that Wes Craven is listed as executive producer.
Some of these transformations are just as predictable and a tad labored. But give the makers of “Wishmaster” a little credit for keeping things moving at a brisk pace. It’d be nice to think that Craven helped with the rhythm, but my guess is his name is being used mostly as audience bait.
The film is also certifying its schlock-shock pedigree with the presence of “Nightmare on Elm Street’s” Robert Englund, who’s not bad as a twitty gallery owner and “Candyman’s” Tony Todd, who deserved a better cameo than the bouncer he plays here. Some of the banter is clever, the effects are as gaudy and icky as you’d expect, and it’s always nice to see a heroine like Lauren who wears her pluck without resorting to whimper-whines.
xxxx Wes Craven Presents “Wishmaster” Locations: East Sprague and Lyons cinemas Credits: Directed by Robert Kurtzman, starring Tammy Lauren, Andrew Divoff, Robert Englund, Tony Todd, Wendy Benson, Tony Crane, Chris Lemmon Running time: 1:30 Rating: R