Parents will be alarmed at first but can guide you

Dear Annie: I am 17 years old and recently became sexually active. I use protection 100 percent of the time.

Annie, I think something is wrong “down there.” Actually, I think it might be tinea cruris, which I know is athlete’s foot spread through self-contact. Tinea cruris is supposedly easy to treat through over-the-counter topical medications.

I know I should see a gynecologist about this, but I don’t want my parents to know I’ve lost my virginity. I can’t think of another reason to ask my mom to take me to a gynecologist. Also, I cannot afford to see a doctor without my parents’ insurance.

I know what I need to do, but I don’t know how to go about doing it. I hope you can give me some guidance. Thanks. – Harrisburg, Pa.

Dear Harrisburg: Tinea cruris is a fungal infection like jock itch, but you could get it “down there” by wearing too-tight clothing, not washing after exercise or not drying your body sufficiently after showering. And it gives you the perfect excuse to ask your mother to take you to the gynecologist. Tell her you have some kind of itching and you think it’s time for a gynecologist to check you out. When you get to the doctor’s office, ask your mom to wait outside for you (tell her you’re old enough to do this alone), which will allow you to speak to the doctor privately.

We hope this will provide an opportunity for you to open up the lines of communication with at least one of your parents. While initially they may be disappointed to learn that you are sexually active, they will get past it, and it will be beneficial for you to have their guidance. Please try.

Dear Annie: I find myself in what I would classify as a friendship with a co-worker. Actually, I am her assistant. “Myra” calls me at all hours of the day, including weekends and evenings. We discuss everything – her children’s problems, her family and her fiance.

Myra and her fiance just finalized their list for their wedding attendants, and I find it a little depressing that, while I am good enough to be a sounding board, apparently, I’m not good enough to be a bridesmaid. In fact, her attendants are mostly women who dislike the groom and have been quite vocal about it.

Myra has given me other duties at the wedding, but they are more like working assignments and don’t involve any fun or interaction with the bridal party. Is it possible that what I assumed was a friendship is actually an extension of my job description? – Feeling Down About Myself

Dear Feeling Down: Myra sees you as her assistant. That means she expects you to listen to her complaints, provide support and advice, and take whatever assignments are given to you. Is this friendship? No. Although Myra no doubt appreciates the help you offer, it is not the same as a true friendship. Don’t take it too hard, though. She probably thinks you’re a terrific assistant.

Dear Annie: I recently learned that my husband, “Joe,” had an affair that produced a child. Before I could deal with it, Joe died of a heart attack. Joe and I have three young children. Should I include the out-of-wedlock child’s name in Joe’s obituary or wait until after the funeral to let the family know? I am devastated by Joe’s death and the affair. What should I do? – West Covina, Calif.

Dear W. Covina: You don’t have to broadcast Joe’s affair by listing the child in the obituary unless you want to. Inform the family when things calm down. Our condolences.