A dilemma with a friend

Dear Diane: A friend of mine has a dilemma. “Paula” has been dating “Ralph” for two years, and she thinks things are going fine, but (and it’s really none of my business) they don’t spend any time together except in the bedroom.

Paula is under the impression that Ralph has feelings for her. But it is obvious to everyone that he is using her. Friends of mine have seen Ralph in clubs with other women.

Anyway, a guy from Paula’s past (“Simon”) has resurfaced, and he’s saying all the right things, and she’s thinking she should take him up on starting a relationship.

This guy had a huge crush on her when they were in high school. Paula said she liked Simon back then too, but they were too young to tell each other how they felt. He lives out of town, and he came to see her last month.

Simon is willing to share his life with Paula and is not being shy about his feelings this time around.

I think you can see where this is heading. Paula deserves to be with Simon, not Ralph. But I don’t know if it’s my business to tell Paula how to run her love life. What do I do? — Holding Back In Harrisburg

Dear Harrisburg: If all Ralph wants Paula for is sex, and Simon is sincere in his feelings for her, then you must tell Paula to dump Ralph and test the romantic waters with Simon. Ralph is just playing Paula, and I’m sure Paula suspects this deep down, but doesn’t want to admit it to herself.

This isn’t about telling Paula “how to run her love life.” You are her friend. It’s YOUR shoulder she uses to cry on every time she needs to unload about Ralph. You have a right to help Paula find the happiness she deserves.

Give your friend the push she needs in the right direction. I’m sure she’ll thank you for it.