Gay character revealed on ‘Simpsons’

Who will it be? Which “Simpsons” character is coming out of the closet Sunday night (8 p.m. on KAYU-28 in Spokane) when Homer performs the first same-sex wedding in Springfield history?

There are so many to choose from: Professor Frink? Apu? Milhouse, perhaps?

Here’s a short list of likely (or not) candidates:

Waylon Smithers

Odds: Not a chance.

He’s everybody’s front-runner. There’s just one problem: He’s already openly gay. He’s gone to gay resorts, he lives in the gay part of town, he frequently fantasizes about his beloved Mr. Burns – let’s face it, he’s gay.

Patty Bouvier

Odds: 3-2

While Marge’s sister Selma has had affairs, married (briefly) Troy McClure and tried to have a baby, their other sister, Patty has remained resolute in her male-bashing lifestyle (except for her TV sweetheart, MacGyver). Think of her as the Gertrude Stein of the Simpsons clan.

Lenny

Odds: 10-1

Does Homer’s drinking buddy just like Carl or does he, you know, like Carl? After all, you never see one without the other. There’s definitely a Bert-and-Ernie kind of thing going on there.

Groundskeeper Willy

Odds: 20-1

Why is he always so angry – could it be all that repression? And how often have we seen his buff body? Who is he keeping himself so fit for?

Ned Flanders

Odds: 100-1

Speaking of buff bodies, what about Flanders? He would be the most subversive choice – the evangelical family man. And over the years the writers have heaped gay/womanly behaviors on him. But there’s no way he’s coming out.