Annie’s Mailbox: Sister-in-law tactless, hurtful
Dear Annie: “Steve” and I have been happily married for 15 years. We both love children and dreamed of someday having a large family. However, after several years of trying to conceive, we sought medical help and were told Steve has a sperm motility problem. We were told our chances of becoming pregnant were very low.
Fertility treatments are expensive, and there is no guarantee they will work, so we decided to accept the prognosis and build a happy life together, just the two of us. Miraculously, five years ago, we got pregnant and now have a wonderful little boy.
The problem is Steve’s sister. “Gina” has tormented us about children since we married, and even though we have a child now, she’s gotten worse. Recently, she has started encouraging our son to “ask Mommy when she’s going to give you a baby sister or brother.” I’ve told Gina on several occasions that we have trouble conceiving, yet she persists.
What Gina doesn’t realize is that Steve’s resentment toward her grows with every rude and hurtful comment. He avoids being around her and encourages me to do the same. Avoiding her helps, but it doesn’t make me feel very good to treat her that way. Any advice? – Steve’s Wife
Dear Wife: Steve should be the one to tell Gina to knock it off because her comments are hurtful. If she won’t stop, he has the right idea. You should not have to spend time with someone who is determined to make you miserable. She has chosen this path, and it’s her loss.
Dear Annie: My best friend, “Marcia,” asked me to be her roommate, and I reluctantly said yes. The problem is, Marcia is financially unstable.
Since we moved in together, Marcia has quit several lousy jobs and spends money faster than she makes it. I often have to pay more than my share of the rent (sometimes all of it) because she’s broke.
Marcia eventually pays me back, but she’s soon in debt again. I don’t want this to end our friendship, but I can’t take it anymore. I’m not a bank. I also love my apartment and don’t want to move. What can I do? – Money Lender in Kansas
Dear Kansas: You need to be honest with Marcia and tell her that the constant money lending is putting a crimp in your relationship and making it hard for you to remain roommates. Tell her if she can’t control her finances sufficiently to keep current with her bills, you will not room with her after the lease is up. If you want to keep the apartment, approach your landlord and tell him you are interested in renewing the lease on your own.